What Thrives Beneath
by Clovergirl22
Summary: Despite how Slade treats Robin before and after Apprentice part 1 and 2, he never actually allows him to die. Is Robin something more to the mastermind than just an apprentice? And what is the real reason to a certain boywonder's obsession? NO SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Despite how I wish that the Teen Titans were mine, they shall never be. I don't own the Teen Titan's or Deathstroke the Terminator from the DC comics nor do I own any of the lines/scenes from the show.

**Authors note: **Alright folks, this is my first fic ever as well as my first Teen Titan's fic. Flames are welcome but try not to be too harsh, please. To simply put it I'm going to give this one my best shot and hope that you guys would like it so feel free to drop by a comment and tell me what you think. I respect all comments and criticism :)

-T-

Regular: whats going on currently, thoughts, feelings,"talking" about flashbacks

Italic: _ explains thoughts and intense emotions and flashbacks_

Summery:Slade's thoughts about Robin taking place after "THE END" parts I, II, and III

Subjects: Slade and Robin; **not** Slash. SLADE'S POV

Genre: Angst/Drama/ a little violence

-T-

**WARNING: **Spoiler for Apprentice Parts( and prior to that) and "The End" episodes as well as some Death stroke background information. If you haven't seen these or read the DC comics please do so before reading this fic.

** What Thrives Beneath **

_ by Clovergirl22_

-Slade POV-

_As I sit here alone in this room, the only thing that thrives within this mastermind that I call upon my own is you, you Robin, and only you alone can fill it. _

Maybe its the darkness that surrounds me in this room that makes me think of the boy. Why I do is beyond me, but my lair reminds me of the times that the rebellious teenager was mine. Yes, he _was _mine, as much as he might have wanted to deny it he was my apprentice, the only one who I would be able to trust to share my power with, the only one who would ever be able to one day be feared upon by many as my successor and death's right hand. All possibilities and all outcomes of a masterpiece soon to be. I pause in thought looking down at my desk and into the palm of my right hand which holds his eyes; that mask which he hides behind. How I wish I was able to contain that wild thing within him, oh how I wish that the strongest chains of steel could hold down whatever kind of a fighting being lurks beneath that stubborn soul. Oh how I loath it, and yet, how from here in this room I can only stand in awe from it. How I wish for control over that...

_All possibilities, all outcomes of a masterpiece soon to be, all a fantasy now..._.

Still, who ever said that such a fantasy could not come into the world of realistic ideas? As the old saying has it, "Where there is a will, there is a way". A sheepish smile plays across my masked face thinking of what a look the boy might have next time I am to face him.

_Oh yes, my will is strong enough to crush yours, my dear little bird, for you are indeed it._

I look down at the mask and come to realize how my right hand holds it. The dainty little black rimmed source is held tight enough as if in fear of dropping. I begin to ponder just then as if it was the boys arm in the hand. I sit and think while resting my chin on my left hand and lightly tapping it with my fingers, would I ever do the same?

:::_flashback_:::

_On top of this building we fought. For me, it was a battle worth fighting to test my future apprentice's skills. On the contrary, for him it was something more. I was able to tell from the way the restless boy looked at me. In ways so much like my own way of being able to look at another and make them quiver with fear, he to was able to do the same. Only for one things so certain, if I was not the most powerful crimelord of a city given the immortality to live forever would I fear him too. The way he looked at me, was almost amusing. It was like looking into a mirror that reflected my younger self, so just like me he is. The thing that was eating him up inside was him knowing that deny it he must, we are so much alike. His little Red X stunt was all the proof the world could need. I smirked at that thought. He only cringed at it, and I was able to tell by that masked expression how he was thinking the same as I. Naive child he is, oh how I can mold him to fit my image provided ideas beyond imaginary. If I was not wearing a mask, the malicious taunting grin would have been seen quite clearly to make the boy wonder tremble to his misery._

_"Careful. I wouldn't want you getting hurt." I say watching in amusement of his face scrunch up in frustration like that of a teary eyed child who was surely in need for a nap. The battle was wearing down his energy, you didn't need to be a mastermind to see that it was._

_"I'm not the one who is going to get hurt. Now hand them over!" Demanded Robin. _

_I shook my head as I thought... dear child, I'm going to need to be a bit persuaded in order to do that. _

_I approach him and we begin to circle to continue engaging in our battle between master and apprentice( despite how he had no knowledge on any of my plans)_

_"Robin. I thought we had a deal." I slyly said. My words were clearly taking role in that cunning little mind of his. He retorted with anger from it._

_"Sorry. I have a strict rule against giving stolen technology to psychos."_

_Quite cunning indeed, my little bird. _

_"How very noble of you.", I say while eye balling him strongly , "But stealing in order to trap me? That wasn't so noble. Two wrongs don't make a-"_

_"Don't ever lecture me! Whatever you're planning, Slade, it's over!"_

_Temper... Temper... _

_I thought wanting to shake my head yet again. Teenagers, how stubborn they can be at times. The boy wonder was so-pig headed beyond belief that for a split second I was going to question myself about why I was even testing him. His last remark reminded me yet again why I did. The spirit that he possessed, the determination he held in his voice, being so sure of himself, the anger, the hatred in seeking to be in control of the situation, all in which provided me the reasons why I choose him out of millions of others. He was the one, he was perfect. It made me glad that I choose him, Robin, my little apprentice he would become sooner then one would think._

_"Oh, on the contrary, Robin. It's just begun."_

_We charge at one another. Backing up a bit I smoothly dodge Robins strikes. The boy was fuming, I obliviously made something snap in him that wasn't quite natural, but this game was just not going to last much longer..._

_Dodging a few more cruel blows, I land him a fair quick kick that squarely sends him tumbling a few yards almost to the point that he is at the edge. Going on the offensive with such a fury he makes it back to my way were he send more kicks and punches that I gladly and willingly feed off from his anger. ...How very rash of you, Robin, I think to my self as I nail him with another swift kick. He staggers back from the blow, but clearly the boy does not surrender. Good, the boy is more like me every second I battle him. I allow this game to go on a bit longer, but eventually I grow board and decide to end this little bit of fun. Surely it does end when his green fist is caught by my steel one. After this move, the others won't be followed up as kindly. My armored elbow drives into Robin's chest, knocking the wind out of him cold. I watch as his rather small frame is flung toward the edge of the rooftop. I stop and raise a eyebrow as he fails to catch himself before crashing through some crates while falling out of my sight. _

_The early death of my soon to be apprentice was nothing that I would be able to bare. My eye widened as I felt my heart skip a beat and fall to the pit of my stomach. It took not even a split second to spring to Robin's aid. The short scream told me clearly enough that the boy wonder threw away whatever pride he had and was basically asking for a savior. To put it on simpler terms, I didn't even know how quickly I reacted to his scream as one second I was standing dumb struck and the next with my fingers clenched around his wrist. Robin too seemed stunned by this rare act of generosity. The boy looked bellow him at what was meant to be his doom and then back up at me who was still seizing his wrist._

_"You...saved me?" asked the child with wide masked eyes. Those white lights; that mask of his wonder as a small child would. I glare down at him intently. Of course I would not allow my apprentice to plummet to his death now would I? _

_Little bird, how wrong of your views of me. How wrong of you, my Robin, my little Robin. I only had one answer for him at that moment._

_"I'm not through with you."_

_:::end of flashback:::_

The real answer, not the one I gave Robin but the one that I was able to uncover myself in due time, seemed to lay within the memory. The answer of course was already answered. Yes, I did hold Robin's wrist the same way I held his mask securely in my hand; apprehensive of the possibility of myself dropping it, just as I had done that night on top of the building. To question on my intentions to why I did this would be to question the answer which was already given. Controlled and well collected I was that night and the way I must appear to the boy to insure his first impression on me. Even if it really was not technically my body up on the roof top that night my mind was still there and I was able to control the robot's motions with the ease as if I was controlling my own movements(thanks to a new technology making the environment appear to me as if I was really there even though I was not)

Afterward though, something was oddly tugging at my chest, something that was too human. Being an immortal, unable to die, one would develop human emotions to be impractical. When you can not die, certain feelings are not present, thus therefore one who lives forever does not need to fear death or anything much of that matter. Over time emotions that a person would feel would then correlate with the non existing fears of dieing resulting in a human being not being able to feel what a normal person would. Such feelings that I knew of, felt, and was able to understand would dim within each murderous thought just as the blood touches the knife. Come again, I began to acknowledge this gift that was given to me, when emotions left me, all weaknesses left me as well. This new enlightenment of mankind was impressive, none the less it is nature's way to create an environment full of flaws for it's inhabitants. Emotions and feelings for another being is the greatest down fault of men. Pathetic it is to see potentially lit individuals steep to the depths of their own miseries due to such a lack in control. Emotions on the other hand, are the seeds to all weaknesses. Further more, which brings me back to such feelings I've felt, held no purpose in my life anymore. "Anymore" was the key word right down to the hard, cold truth. At a time in my life I was a mortal, and like all mortals I had a weakness.

I had a family. I had a job. I was content with the life I had. As I think about my two sons and lovely wife; oh how such memories thankfully only affect me in the smallest of ways; now for if I still was a mortal, I would breakdown from it. My oldest son Grant had my eyes, my same pools of blue, and was a spitting image of myself. Being the oldest of the two he took on a leadership type role for my youngest Joey. As one says "Like father like son" this saying still holds true today. Grant was the one to define it just as how he defines everything else about my self. His egos, his temper, even his way of walking with his chest sticking out proudly and head held up high while displaying a superior appearance all at the same time. Even as a toddler, he held the ability to imitate my motions. It Makes sense how Addie always use to tease me at the fact that Grant was the miniature version of myself. I agreed with her on the fact, that the child was so much like me. He was a leader no doubt, and he looked up to me in ways that any young person would to the one admired.

As I sit here and allow the darkness to consume my thoughts, I open up a drawer in my desk and pull out a small photo album. With my left hand, I open it and on the first page smiling at me are three joyful faces. Running my fingers over the page I trace their features that were once visible to my life everyday. My Addie, Grant, and Jericho remained on the page. If the tugging at my chest was stronger then it was at that moment I would have felt hot tears stream down my cheeks. Luckily to say it, I would never be at that pathetic level that I once was at. Pain is no longer such a feeling that my mind is capable of experiencing, only the apathetic emptiness inside me is there. It is the emptiness that would forever remain empty. A void left inside me that is unfilled. What ever void that was, it continued to try as hard as it must to bother my gut. I really was not enjoying this...

The tugging feeling grows stronger suddenly, drawing in a few deep breaths seems to numb it so I do so. The emptiness inside of me yearns to be filled. I can feel it, Its much like an addiction, some deep obsession from within wanting the life it once held to my mind. The feeling confuses me, It almost as if whatever thing tugs at me can not effect me no matter how hard it tries. The feeling is detached from my body, and yet it still continues to bother me. Distinct memories of Grant's lifeless body laying limp in my arms swarm my mind with a sting as strong as a wasp's. The feeling goes through my gut like that of a blade and from that memory I feel...pain?

_Impossible...such feeling are no more but why now?...why now do they show when they haven't in the longest of times?_

I think this as I rashly close the photo album and place it back in it's drawer were it belongs and will always stay. To my fortune, the pain begins to dwindle and there, I sit quietly and astounded by what just happened. Pain was never suppose to occur, detached or not detached, pain is so unreal to me. Why it did just now, is all above me. The answer to that question lays contently in my right hand causing my eye to flicker down and glare at the familiar site. That life that my apprentice hides behind, that foolish role that the boy plays as hero, that mask but its not just a mask, its that child...Robin.

It occurred to me just then why I even bothered to save the boy that night. Yes, I was testing him to see if he was apprentice material. Yes, the boy did fail and nearly killed himself due to his own fault, so why not let him die like how I allowed the so many other's before him that I tested? His stubborn attitude was bound to be impossible to control, so why did I allow this child to live? Why... the answer lays well beneath me and very much is well known. Picturing myself holding a dieing boy wonder in my arms like I did to my own son's body, would be too unendurable for me to go through again. Apprentice worthy, or not apprentice worthy, the child reminded me so much of Grant. The two were so genuinely alike, to their die-hard will till the very end of their delicate state of minds. They were just too similar to distinguish. Robin was indeed apprentice worthy, and all though I sensed such a challenge in his nature, my own curious mind was willing to over come such a barrier between us.

My breathing has slowed down to its normal pace once again, and the displeasing sensation in my gut has left me now. My eye brow furrows in contemplation while I study the mask over again and wonder why pain was so apparent. It shouldn't have been, and yet the emotional scaring that was brought about in the past came back to haunt me. Not only in the ways that the pain only lingered in my head but physically as well. The reasonings puzzled me, it baffled me beyond belief that I could allow such flaws to overcome myself in ways that I thought such vulnerabilities could not. The vindication was already acknowledged, and the answers were all literally laying right under my nose. I glower down at the mask at hand.

_Robin. Little bird that you are, you can not fly away from your fate for it is already been predestined for you, child; your ignorance is my fortitude._

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**:::Authors Note:::**

**Ok! So how was that for a first chapter? Just to let everyone know I was seriously debating making this a one shot but it turned out way too long if I was going to make it one. Slade's POV is taking up 18 pages on NeoOffice so far, and still going! This was only the first seven. Be prepared for a long one! let's not forget about our little bird I still got to do him too. I won't post chapter 2 until I get some reviews but believe me I won't keep you people waiting either. R and R. Hoped you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Teen Titans. I am currently planning on stealing them but I haven't recruited any villains to do my bidding yet. Oh well...

**Authors Note: **I just want to thank everyone who read what I had so far and reviewed. Yes these reviews make me so happy! Anyway I was originally planning on putting the rest of Slade's POV on this chapter since it is already near completion but instead maybe we should venture in a certain boy wonder's head and see what makes him tick. How does that sound? Hope you enjoy part 1 of Robin's pov. R and R!!!

-T-

Regular: whats going on currently, thoughts, feelings,"talking" about flashbacks

Italic: _ explains thoughts and intense emotions and flashbacks_

Summery:_ Robin's thoughts about Slade during _"THE END" parts I, II, and III

Subjects: Slade and Robin; **not** Slash. Robin's POV

Genre: Angst/Drama/ a little violence

-T-

**WARNING: **Spoiler for Apprentice Parts( and prior to that) and "The End" episodes as well as some Death stroke background information. If you haven't seen these or read the DC comics please do so before reading this fic.

-Robin's POV-

_The war is won, Trigon is defeated and yet despite how free we are I remain a trapped bird. Why I still do is well beneath me and the memories in which they lurk inside an empty void._

Nothing says "home sweet home" like the darkness of my own living area back at the Tower. I for one am glad that this room is mine considering the fact it is all the way on the near end of the tower far away from noise and disruption. Peace and quite, just how I like it. Looking over to my desk, I however think otherwise. I frown seeing the over flowing paper work lay there untouched since I left it before Trigon. Unfortunately after we defeated the beast, my desk which I wished so hard to lay in useless ashes forever was restored. I sigh at this hearing my doors close behind me, I guess we can't get everything we want...

Its late and my body is done in. Just getting back from defeating an evil demon who was so close to getting away with destroying the whole entire world can put a lot of stress on a person, I of course being just that. Taking a seat on my bed I switch on the lamp on my night table and allow my head to hang between my knees. It's over, the end of the world is no more...

I should feel relieved shouldn't I? My shoulders should be slouching, my eyelids should close with ease but my body depite how tired and in the need for sleep it is remains tightly rattled. It is if the war hasn't been won at all that my body is ready to take on a whole new transformation. An unpleasant feeling in my gut says otherwise, it tells me that even though the war is over another is soon to erupt out of it's ashes. This time, the war is not to be involved between my friends and a whole evil force, but just me and a whole different plater.

Yet as I set here alone in this room some depravity swarms my mind. With no avail I just couldn't shake what abhorrent thoughts thrive beneath me. My eye narrows in pure disgust realizing what being _is_ that depravity.

_Slade..._

Its appalling, and yet I stand in awe from whatever is making me feel this way, thinking about him, shaping my will, just 'why" is all I have to ask. What lingers in the solitary of my room makes my insides churn in agony. Masked eyes narrow in pure hatred as all the thoughts of the malicious man once again fills up every corner of my mind. How I hate him...

_He should of died. He deserved every right to..._

Yes, Indeed Slade should have. Why the man didn't perish in the lava pits of hell lays very well beneath me. Looking up from the ground with a clenched jaw I swivel my neck over toward my working area. The wall he thrives upon lays before it as well as that haunted mask.

It strikes me suddenly about why I hate that mask as much as I do. The curse is a part of him, the mask makes him the villain just as how my own mask mask me the hero. Ever since the first day I rested eyes upon the orange and black site I was not able to shake the fear away.

On spite I turn my head the other direction in hope shutting my eyes begging for it to all go away, to leave me alone. I hated it, that mask of his was better off being Slade it's self the way it always glares at me as if it was really him. Ever since that dreaded day that I learned his name to our first encounter, I could never stop thinking about the crimelord. That first time, lead to my downfall...

:::flashback:::

_I had him just where I wanted. Glaring at the man while we fought each other on top of that damn building made my heart pound with the all the hope in the world that I would be the one to defeat this crooked monster, being able to finally unmask that false face I would put an end to his existence in this city. That I Robin, boy wonder, the leader of teenage super heroes would be the one standing in triumph over Slade's defeated body. How I dreamed so many times of this moment coming to me, for a while I felt that today was going to be just that. In pure frustration I chuck one of my bird arranges at his head. Slade shatters it without effort in a heart beat from his backhand. Surprised at this, I watch the broken pieces fall down at my feet but I couldn't say what caught me more off guard. Was it the way the weapon broke as if it was a wooden stick? or was it the way I threw the at device at him with such force and anger. I wanted to shake my head._

_That throw was meant to kill. Did I just try to kill him rather than try to pin him to the wall with what that weapon is mainly designed for?_

_Slade takes advantage of the moment as I remain disturbed from it. Running toward the edge I watch amazed in how my nemesis takes an impossible leap off the building to another distant one. _

_Now It was my turn..._

_Taking a few steps back to get a running start I launch my body toward the plateau. As I begin to drop I catch my self and tumble at the landing but with ease. Glancing up I see Slade, mask and all staring down at me in a pleasing way that made me sick to my stomach. The look on my face must have showed it._

"_Careful. I wouldn't want you getting hurt.", the mastermind warned. _

_Yeah right..._

_I thought baring my teeth in response. _

_It's not like you really care anyway..._

"_I'm not the one who's going to get hurt. Now hand them over!" I demanded from the crook. Slade was going down, and I was going to make sure that after tonight he would never show his face in Jump City again. I would be able to rest with him gone. Everything would be over, no more working nights, no more starving evenings, no more night mares, no more concern friends, no more Slade. I would be rid of his haunts, his malicious ways, his taunting persona would be forever gone. I yearn for this beyond all things..._

" _I thought we had a deal."_

_Yeah so what would you like me to do about it, Slade? Just let you get away like that while I have to go back home and have my friends turn their backs on me because of what I just sacrificed in order to defeat you? The deals off!_

_Slade was toying with me now and I was really beginning to grow rather impatient of him. _

"_Sorry." I scuff, "I have a strict rule against giving stolen technology to psychos."_

_Stopping at this I pause in realization to what just happened. I did steal..._

_Sensing that Slade picked up on my remark I was able to almost see that wry smile playing across his masked face. _

_Great. Now I am starting to think like him too. Just perfect, really._

"_How very noble of you. But stealing in order to trap me? That wasn't so noble. Two wrongs don't make a-"_

_He pushed me again. Hating him for everything I angrily cut him off._

"_Don't ever lecture me! Whatever you're planning, Slade, it's over!" but something on the inside gave off a different feeling. Some kind of doubt in the out skirts of my mind told me otherwise. That it really wasn't over and never would be. Perhaps that..._

"_Oh, on the contrary, Robin. It's just begun."_

_My heart quickly dropped to my stomach as I silently began to panic. It has to be over, this has to end now._

_We charge at one another on the dot. The uneasy feeling that lurked within myself has turned into sear apprehension. To hide this I throw strike after strike at the towering black and orange figure in hope that one of them would hit. Unfortunately for me I miss every time but non the less I don't let up on my blows. _

_He can't win. I won't let him win._

_At this thought my mind goes blank and to my luck my lungs get punctured by one of Slade's kicks. I tumble away from him from the force. I could of sworn I was at the edge that time as I got back on my feet and charged at him again. We go at it for a while seeing that it was a never ending battle between villain and hero that would of well lasted forever if neither of us ended up defeated. I was beginning to grow tired but I kept on persisting forward until my side of the battle is won._

_There's no running away now, Slade..._

_Apparently, Slade thought this too. I go to land a punch into his side until my fist are caught by his steel trap of one. Almost in a mockery he seizes my fist till my figures were on the verge of breaking. I wanted to yell out in pain but my ego told me otherwise. Before I could recover an armored elbow drives into my lungs hard. Suddenly I could not breath, the wind rushed out of me like a popped balloon as I was flung once again toward the edge of the rooftop. However failing to catch my self this time, I stumbled through some crates and to my surprise began to fall._

_No one was there to catch me either. I scream and cling to the ledge for dear life. It was over, Slade won and now I was going to surely die. I look down to the pit of my soon to be death and watch the speeding traffic go on bellow me. Funny how death can be so simple yet so complicated at the same time. I was going to die not the way I would of liked to die but I was going to die non the less wasn't I? _

_No more than 3 seconds later the masonry of the the ledge begins to crumble beneath my finger tips. Then all at once I could of sworn seeing my life flash before my eyes as I began falling to my death. Falling just as how my parent's fell to their own. _

_Closing my eyes I could picture their faces, glimpses of memories with Batman, the Titan's and Slade ._

_Slade?_

_Realizing that I stopped falling, I look up into that mask that I presumed wanted me dead. My wrist was being held on to that broke my fall and that narrow eye that was anything but cruel at that moment told me that it was true. Slade really just saved my life..._

" _You...saved me?" I asked him. I was so confused about why. Didn't he hate me? Didn't he want me to die? I looked up at him in question while wanting to ask why he saved me but I never got that chance._

_Nor did I get a full answer._

"_I'm not through with you."_

:::end of flashback:::

I never thought that through out all my years of fighting crime, such a villain can pose a threat like Slade. Then again, Slade was not your ordinary villain now was he? No, Slade was a mastermind capital of controlling other's thoughts, provoke feelings, manipulate minds to his liking. He was a person capable of many dangerous things, but then again, Slade wasn't just a person either.

Looking back at the wall while intently staring at his mask, a thought comes to me suddenly about what really done me in that night on the roof top of that building. What baffled me the most, left me in complete awe and wonder was not why I lost the battle or how I done so much wrong that day, but why it all happened in the first place. From the first time Slade's own single ice cold blue eye punctured my mask I've noticed something ...odd. It was almost like I was never wearing a mask in the first place, as if Slade was able to see right through me. When he looked at me, nothing else in the world mattered to him, and for some unruled out reason I felt like he wanted me to think the same. He wanted me to see myself for who I really truly was, not Robin, not the brave Teen Titan's leader. The moment he looked at me I was not a boy wonder anymore I was the person that everyone refused to see, that being non the less a _child_. A small fragile, naive child. As much as I hate to admit it and even though it angers me to think about it, In Slade's view I was just that scared little boy who lost his parents, an orphan with no place to go to, Richard Grayson, the boy behind the mask. Why though was it just him that was able to cock his head in the way he was able to, glare down at me with such intensity that he made me feel like a misbehaved kid, and in the end when I fall into my misery was he the one to catch me? Why _him_? Why does it have to be _Slade_; that ever so cocky crimelord of the city? The memory of staring up into Slade's single eye in wonder brought uneasiness to my chest. Rage begins to spark from the inside of my heart. My temples begin to pound against my head as I feel my face scrunch up in agony.

_Why did he have to be the one to save me?_

Getting up from my bed I bravely made my way over to the wall and slowly snatched up the mask that has been glaring at me in mockery since the minute I stepped foot into the room. Tracing the outline of the single eye socket with my thumb, I began to wonder the question that drove me into obsession. That three word question that haunted my dreams, twisting them into unbearable nightmares that pledged my memories like film strips of a movie. I stiffened a breath holding the question in my mind rather then let it burn my lips with it's poisoned tone.

_Who is Slade?_

This simple yet complicated question haunts me every waking minute of my life. After all of these many months of research I was nor able to find any information on this mastermind that would help me bring him to Justice. I literally worked my self overtime in trying to find his weakness, what fueled him that I could have happily reduced it if I ever found out what it might be. Clenching the mask now in both hands I find my self agitated by this question, knowing that there was no resting until I found out the answer.

_Who are you?_

There was a silence. As if expecting an answer from the mask I sat down at my desk and studied the source.

Great...

I thought wanting to raise my hands up in the air.

I'm talking to a mask...now I must really be going crazy.

Shaking my head at this, I had a feeling that it was going to be a very long night. Knowing just one thing so certain that who ever Slade may be he is human, and as human as he is Slade had a past. His past surely being a dark one. I scowl at this realizing the hard truth that lays beneath the mask just as how truth lays beneath my own.

_Dark mask, dark past _ f_or one things so certain, Slade's past shared darkness with my own...Slade...who are you?_

**Authors Note: ****Was It ok? I truly hope so. How was that for part uno of Robin's POV huh? As you can see, our boy wonder has a lot on his mind and part 1 here is a preview of a whole bigger "enlightenment" that our bird is going to realize about the mastermind. I covered as many points as I was able to for this chapter, like Robin's reaction to Slade when he saved him from falling. It's kinda cute for Robin to realize that Slade's not all that bad but it's confusing for him at the same time because Robin holds a deep passion of hate for the man. Anyway...perhaps the rest of Slade's pov will be up within a few days. Please make sure to review cause if there are no reviews there will be no Sladey time. So R AND R!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans...ugh...I can only wish can't I?_

_Authors Note: Hey everyone, back to Slade's POV and now we are really gettting deeper into the story you'll notice some pretty intense things start to overcloud Slade's unfeeling, unemmotion being. Sorry but this chapter is mainly flashback reviews but pay close attension cause the last chapter of Slade's POV is going to bring everything together. Thankyou for all who reviewed at the time being and hoping to get even more! _

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_Slade's POV part 2_

_:::flashback:::_

_Watching the bruised up boy tumble across the floor, I stagger a chuckle at his discouraged face. He was hurting, his face was appalled. He lost, It was clear that Robin hated losing, and it was no surprise at all that once again the child lost to me. His temper was present, you could tell the way he began to tense up as I neared his body which still remained sprawled out across the floor. Sore and heated from the battle, Robin pounded his fist wrathfully against the tiles with a loud flustered groan._

_Robin, Robin, Robin, how it must kill you to see your self at my feet. How aggravating it must be to lose to your worst enemy. _

_I hold in a chuckle while his oh- so determined expression is shown to me ."I understand your frustration, Robin. You hate losing as much as I do.", I say with a wry smile across my face. Oh how true it was too, and Robin deny it he must that we are both alike. _

_"One of the many qualities we have in common."_

_ I say slyly enough to rattle his nerves once more. I see his face contort with anger and the white slits in his mask narrow while his teeth become clenched and bare to view. My words must have hit the boy hard, for a whole new burst of energy exploded out of Robin resulting into an upper cut to my chin. A few more punches are landed to my armored body. My armored body...my robotic body that is, my duplicity taking place of myself was brutally trashed onto the floor. Cockily, the boy wonder picks up the fake transmitter device that the robot held in order to lure him to me and his dimwitted teammates into a set trap. _

_"It's over, Slade!", The teenager aggressively stated toward my defeated duplicity. In response, my actual voice rang out like a ghost would while coming out of the darkness to haunt his victims. _

_"On the contrary, Robin."_

_I watch intently as the fake device begins to spark and dismantled its self from his touch as it was programmed to._

_" Huh?", The clueless boy wonder exclaims with a dumb struck expression as the device breaks apart in his hand. The priceless, confused look on his face made me savior the moment that much longer. I make my entrance out of the darkness as I step into the light. _

_"This is only the beginning", I announce to him with pure satisfaction with how my plan came out. Although to thoroughly put it, I did pitied the boy for his ignorance and the lack of control with his assumptions. _

_...All in which can be molded into a master piece admirable for it's outcome...all in which can be mine to create and give life to...all possibilities..._

_I say to myself silently as the bewildered boy wonder's masked eyes twisted with that familiar malicious look. A look that seems humorous to my pupil on how Robin seemed to take his impression on my style and transform it onto his own face. The images of what this clever boy can one day become with my training, another me...and yet..._

_"This is only the beginning." I say very promptly to him while summing up with my zealous thoughts._

_"Where's the real trigger?" Robin demanded._

_Sometimes I wish that my face can be shown to the boy for the purpose of my sheepish smiles having such an impact on that valuable mind of his._

"_Trigger? There is no trigger-because there is no detonator."_

_Robin's eyes literally bulged out of their sockets in utter astonishment. He had no idea what was coming for him, and the poor child's expression couldn't of been more parched for the knowledge that I'd known. In an act of kindness I decide to put the child out of his misery as four screens of monitors showing my death enabling probes linger in the blood streams of his teammates. _

_"Nanoscopic probes." I stated, turning toward the screens. "The chronoton detonator was merely the bait for a much larger trap."_

_As I continue and am about to explain to him about what effects my brilliant probes can have on an individual, a button to activate it pops up from my wrist in display. I turn around to face him again, and I am almost impressed to see how the boy tries to shield his emotions from me. Trying to remain as calm as he is able to, I can see. This, however, will be destroyed momentarily._

_"You see, with the push of a button-"_

_In an ultimate form of a cruel tease, I hold my finger on top of the button; the button that is now in charge of who lives and who dies. Robin glares at it, fighting the nerve that would tell any other boy to start to tremble from his own fear. _

_"-my probes will destroy your friends from the inside out."_

_My words are harsh. My voice was so transfixed on the menacing tone that the boy seemed to be struggling to get around them. _

_"You can't control them. No matter what you threaten, they'll never obey you.", Robin muses to as he argues. I wanted to shake my head about how his little stubborn personality is so highly influenced by his childish matter. The boy simply has to learn how to distinguish between realistic matters. Slowly I pace around the boy. He remains still and on firm ground while his masked eyes watch closely as I make my way around him. It was now time to tell the boy the truth, the truth of all things that would surely from this moment on place all of the cards into the very palm of my hand. I held the upper deck now. _

_"This isn't about your friends, Robin. It's about you. It's always been about you."_

_There was a huge pause and silence filled the room. There was shock all over the boy's expression when that little simple word was his only response._

" _What?"_

_The word was so simple and reminded me of how a child would continuously ask the question "why" over and over again. The way that Robin said it was full of surprise and filled to the top with confusion. The boy wonder was not able to contain his emotions any more, from the look at his once leader like expression, the calmness has left him, and was broken with the insecurity of being alone and vulnerable. His friend's lives were at state now, the dignity of keeping his emotions under control did not matter. _

_"Sending trouble your way. Leaving cryptic clues for you to unravel. I was testing you. For some time now, I have been searching for an apprentice. Someone to follow in my footsteps..." I explain this to him and as I did the preparation of the next thing I was about to say to him by leaning in closer for a more dramatic effect._

_"And, Robin, I've chosen you." And dramatic it was... "Congratulations."_

_I loved how my words were able to have such an effect on others. The boy especially was now in my control because of the way I was able to manipulate him. This is in fact another gift to me that I was born with thus enabling my life as an deadly assassin. The boy takes on the defense immediately._

_"No way would I ever work for-" He begins to protest but I quickly hush him by placing my thumb on the button and holding it up for him to see, the button that now controls his life as well as his friends. _

_Its a shame how such a weakness is able to control him. Friends, family, people in general are always seeming to be the down fault of another. This is why I mainly work alone, but being an immortal I can not die, I have a tendency to become "creative "with how I react with the people around me. I do not grow close to them, nor do I get to the point that a weakness can control me. However much like the situation I am performing now by getting crafty with what I can create and what I can destroy, I do what is more intriguing to me. Destroying is what I am good at and is what comes easiest to me. _

_On the contrary though, building something grand is a challenge but such a challenge I find it almost enjoyable. Many may think(Wintergreen that is) that such a challenge can become a flaw for my self. When I think about it, the problem makes sense to me. Robin is indeed a person and as a person he can have an effect on others. Having an effect on me perhaps will allow me to let my own guard down. This is a challenge, my mind craves them, but holding Wintergreens thoughts near my own I would have to take caution from possible weakness that can come out of having human contact with another. Robin is in fact, that challenge. _

_The teenager's eyes narrow knowing that he is defeated, my own eye narrows knowing how he knows that nothing more can be said and the boy can defy me no longer. _

" _If you join me, if you swear to serve me-" I make sure my words are to have a lasting effect on his young mind. " -if you never speak to your friends again-" I pause watching the fear in him increase by the second. "-I will allow them to live."_

_Fear was not even the word to describe what was worn on his expression. It was such an alarm, such a horror for him to witness what he was to become. Robin was afraid, there was no doubt in that matter, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, there was no way of doing so._

" _But..." I begin to say while catching the glimpse of pronounced uneasiness across his young face. My single eye narrowed and looked deep into his expression. My ice blue eye stinging through that ineffective mask of his. Mask or no mask, I was able to distinguish the boy's emotions quite clearly, he knew it all too well that I could. I smirked and watch his fragile frame tense " ...if you disobey even the smallest request, I will annihilate them, Robin. And I'll make you watch."_

_That last line sealed it all up. Robin was mine at hand to control and only I can. That teenage face snarled at me in protest, and yet no sound came out of that smart mouth of his. None at all, not even a single whisper from the boy. My eye narrowed at him menacingly knowing that he knew very well that he can not say a thing for I am now his master, and the one who had the button that controlled him. Yes, Robin was mine...finally._

"_So, do we have a deal?"_

_My question was more of an assumption, that answer was going to be yes or else his pathetic comrades would be nothing but dust in the wind. There was literally no reason for him to back down from this grand offer. The answer was yes or yes, and by the look of helplessness he held about his own image that answer was indeed a "yes." _

_Seeing how he grudgingly accepted his fate, I haded him his apprentice outfit. Surely the colors that of a stoplight weren't going to fancy my likings. The boy-wonder would just have to put up with a whole new wardrobe. More specifically, my own wardrobe altered to fit his small frame with the addition of my insegna placed proudly on his chest. That symboled slanted "S" shape would be marked over his heart for the rest of his valuable life, weather Robin wanted to be a part of it or not._

"_Robin?"_

_It was that girl...the alien girl, who's voice rang out in a panicked calling. _

"_Robin? Robin, please respond!"_

_The blinking light of Robin's communicator went off like a fire alarm. The teen's masked eyes widen in surprised as he looked down at it on his utility belt, then back up at me. I held out my hand and glared. His eyes narrowed almost in a protest. He knew very well what I wanted._

"_Robin, please. You must answer. Robin!"_

_Sear anger and pain was shown clearly across his young face as he removed his belt and held it out to me with haste as if trying to get it over with quickly. I smirked at him for a moment before taking the belt. The boy was going to be a challenge no matter what I threatened. To demand respect from him at the beginning was like putting a screaming child down for a nap. In that case, It was going to take some time and patience to get the stubborn teenager to respect me and take orders willingly. Luckily for me, I had all the time in the world. I walked across the room to give Robin time to change into his new persona. The persona that would be feared and respected by many. The ex partner of Batman, the former leader of Teen Titans, Robin, my apprentice..._

_I look back out him and stood proudly watching his new armor shine in the spotlight. This was going to be the start of something beautiful. If only, If only the little petty things in life could be turned down from us all..._

" _Please respond!" _

_The alien girl's unsettled voice rattled my ear drums. Watching Robin I see him hide his emotions by staring at his boots. His mask narrowed and for a split second a mere quiver of the lip can be seen. The boy was fighting an already losing battle with him self. The struggle and stiffness in his back made everything seem all the worse. It was almost as if the teen was being torn open from the inside. I place his old suit and communicator over a pipe and watch that little annoying red light flicker impatiently on his old utility belt. The sight of his clothing seems to poke fun at him. The site was close to making me laugh. _

_The same distraught voice rang out from the device again in despair. The redhead seemed to be on a verge of a breakdown._

"_Robin, where are you?" _

_My neck swivels to where the teen stands dressed in the uniform that would newly define him of something greater then all men one day. I pause suddenly watching how the boy wonder's once ambitious, head strong expression turned defeated, and sullen. His world was literally crashing down upon his shoulders that I new well because everything he loved and lived for would be no more. I for one, experience it and know what it felt like to lose something you once cared about. Frowning at the thought, I feel sympathy for him. After all Robin is still a child, and like all children, they need to know that they are not all alone in this solemn world. _

" _I know it seems bad now. But trust me-" Standing by him for a minute I walk on past him " -you'll learn to like it."_

_...Hopefully..._

_:::end of flashback::::_

"Hopefully" however did not last for as long as I expected it would. The child, Robin, out done me at my own game. He played me for my last cards and whatever I had to offer him. Arrogant child he is, and yet despite his crudeness against what I had to offer him, the boy still intrigues me none the less. Intrigues me he surely does. Robin is smart, there is no doubt about that. His intelligence marks off the chart like my own does. I really do loath my little bird as well as stand in awe about every little trait that defines him.

I remember the day I lost him to such a weakness he possessed. This weakness...this "force", love, runs through every vein in the boy wonder's body, just as how it runs in the many veins of human kind. This force is the cause of all downfalls of men and blinds their minds more than it can blind their eyes. Such a flaw tampered with Robin's potential strong points and in result caused him to fall to his misery and into my palms. His friends were the ones to do that to him, and do is what happened. That team, those pathetic "Titans" brought my apprentice down to his knees, they are his weakness and such a weakness that I promptly overlooked. I had to show my apprentice the false faces of his friends and how they betray him everyday of his life. His friends fail to realize that their dear leader is simply human, and not only human he is a child. Yes, the boy is also a teenager but a child in every way. The week I spent with the boy I have noticed this; I have noticed that behind that cruel outline of that mask lies a boy with a suffered past. Pain is written all over him and confusion fills an empty void where his trust in others should have been. Robin is just not Robin, he fails to realize that Robin is his mask. That his real identity is the one who plays the part. This is in which something that the crooked Batman can not portray and as a result rubbed off on his partner. Although I can not say that his active training brought on Robin wasn't a complete lost it still molded wrong into the boy's cunning mind. I can still remember how I reacted to that day that I lost him...and I hate to lose...

_Flashback::::_

_My voice must of rang out in such an emotional wreak that the state of being out of control was even apparent enough for that dimwitted green titian to distinguish. Robin took advantage as soon as I called after him in a sad attempt to catch him in the act. _

"_Robin!" _

_The boy didn't even glance back. Watching in compete helplessness, Robin launched his body into the prob activated sparks and held onto the rim fighting the new found pain in his body. Finally thinking it was never going to come, he let go and turned to face me. My fist clenched so tightly that my knuckles were surely going to crack under the intense pressure. Robin coming up to me full of pain and none the less suffering from it astounded me in every way possible. I wanted to bring my hands up to my head but thankfully my self control has not left me just yet. Soft groans from the physical strain he just put on his own body escaped his clenched teeth as he made his way closer before looking up to me._

" _New deal, Slade. If I lose my friends, you lose your apprentice."_

_With that, the teen did it again. I was completely stunned by this, baffled beyond belief, flabbergasted. I grew angry, annoyed as my planned back fired completely. _

" _And I know how you hate to lose."_

_:::end of flashback:::_

And lose is just what I did. I can't even explain what happened after that, for I was surely ready to bring death upon Robin. After all, If I couldn't have my apprentice, nobody can so why did I just allow him to live? I did though allowed him to live. This kind jester I made must have shown something It shouldn't of. However, despite how killing comes so easily and naturally for me I couldn't let my apprentice die. To me, no matter how hard I try I just couldn't bring my self to doing such a thing. Yes, I loathed the boy till the point I was surely able to beat him, break his bones, torture him mentally till he was on the verge of breaking down , I just could not bring his death upon my shoulders. Why? Why couldn't I do this? The answer lays very well beneath me.

After enduring a large trial of thought, I decide to get up from my desk and head over to the monitors showing the various clips inside that grotesque Titan's Tower. It is night and the teenagers would most likely be tucked contently into their beds by now. It was time to have some fun with this, and for my own well being I really needed to get away from that desk. My mind was worn plus tired from tonights events so perhaps that after my little checkup ill just head off to my own resting area to get the sleep that I haven't had for over weeks since Trigon was defeated. Being immortal, sleeping is no longer a prime need, but it is however required on occasion that I do so in order to refuel. When I do sleep though, it is anything but pleasant. The cursed dreams haunt me in the night, because in my sleep I have no control over any thoughts. This of course, is why it is better off for me to remain awake.

I tap into the hidden camera systems that I have installed into Robin's room, what a perfect time to check up on my little bird at such an hour. As I do so the screen pops up of Robin's room and not to my surprise the boy is still awake. It was well mid way into the night and yet the stubborn child sits at his own desk transfixed in his work while running his hands through his spiky black hair. This work however is not any old work, for it is none the less about; who else? Me.

My apprentice was a complete disaster. Blue circles formed well bellow his eyes, and his hair was flopping over in a messy tuff. I smirk to myself knowing that the boy has been up for about as long as I had been. He being young and restless has caused him to overwork that valuable mind to breaking point. I sigh, yes Robin has a lot to learn about self control with out it he will surely suffer like he already has been.

I lean my self in closer to the screen for a better view of the desk. The whole wall of me remains there lurking above him from the many months ago that it started accumulating. Papers upon papers are not only sprawled out over the desk but covered the whole entire floor as well.

_Never going to give up on your search are you, Robin? It must really kill you to know that I am still alive, living, breathing, watching you, haunting your dreams. Dear child, you may never sleep again, nor shall I until you are mine._

Getting an even better look at the boy I am to notice him clenching tightly in both hands one of my mask. For a moment I begin to think that my screen has frozen because everything was still. My apprentice's narrowed mask glared in such hatred at my own as If he was really looking a me, pretending that the object was just me. He did this for the longest time until the child did something that I did not expect at all. Doing such a jester that got me so off guard that I was taken a back for a nice long momment before recovering from the pitious sight before me. I leaned in even closer to the point my head was almost touching the screen watching helplessly as the boy's face churned in a pained way trying to fight off an oncoming force. His shoulder's heaved and lip trembled enormously while small crystal clear tear drops brimming on the bottom rimm of the teen's mysterious mask.

Robin was _crying_.

...

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::::Authors Note:::: OMG!!! wow so what do you think? I bet Slade never saw that defeated, needy side of Robin before. Wonder how he is going to react to Robin later don't you? Well I know that right now you are probably hating me for leaving it off like that but we need to take another little break from our mastermind and pay some attention to the boy wonder in chapter 4. Something twisted badly in Robin's mind we better find out. R and R please!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Damn it! Why don't I own the Teen Titans? The world shall never know.**

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**Authors Note:: Alright. First off, I would like to apoligize for my absence in updating this story. Its just that I've been having a really hard time lately between school work, and my show horse who has been very sick lately. This chapter of Robin's POV was taking a while to do because it was feeding off of most of my depression. This might be one of the longest chapters here but a lot of good points are made so take note of that.**

**Alright so here is the next chapter of Robin's POV!!! yayay**

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Robin's POV::::

What baffles me beyond belief is why this man cares so much. Why does he want me? Me! for heavens sake, he wants me! Me, the heir of Bruce Wayne, a hero, someone so much unlike him. After all, he is a villain and I am a hero. Why is it then does this mastermind compare himself to me? Why he does this, lays very much beneath me as I know it.

As I sit in this desk, I feel as though an uncontrolled force chains me to my chair. My eyes go transfixed on his mask, as if looking at the thing would make it go away. I was just trying to believe that staring at the thing will make him vanish from my life, get rid of all the everlasting damage that he done upon myself and my friends. Heat floods to my head, feeling my view on the mask narrow.

_Why does he compare himself to me?_

However, no matter how hard I try to forget, no matter how hard I try to push his presence out of the crevices of my mind, he will always be there lurking in the darkness. Slade _is_ the darkness, and yet as I sit here in the dark, I wonder why such darkness does not bother me. Why is it that darkness surrounds my body? Why is it darkness that consumes me when I speak, when I think, how I breath at such a steady pace? It almost comforts me in such ways that I can not understand and only try to describe. Darkness has the effect on me almost in the way how light has the effect on other people. It gives them hope, it gives them faith, truth is what this world produces in order makes all come true. When your in the light, you feel safe, almost like nothing can hurt you, nothing can lurk in the light and expects you to tremble in fear from it. Darkness, my darkness, has that same effect on me. Then why does such darkness remind myself of _him_? Why Slade, why me?

I remember that day when he ruined my life. The dreaded time when I had to work for him, become his apprentice, sworn to stay by his side for the rest of eternity. My world fell apart in just twenty four hours, everything was no more. His voice whispering in my ear like a ghost haunting you from the inside out, I felt hopeless, I couldn't fend for myself anymore because of the position I was in as Slade's apprentice, I was his slave.

That crooked mask played an even bigger part then some other hero might think. His mask was something way more than the typical villain's. A mask is one in which represents the person, his mask, Slade's mask represents him. Holding his mask in two hands I draw it up to my view. The colors of black and orange showing right through me like that of a blade on a knife. I rest my chin on the table for a better view.

_Black and orange. Why is it split into two colors? Slade is one person isn't he?_

Perhaps, just maybe perhaps Slade is more than what meets the eye. I never understood why the man had two colors. I was almost like he has two different sides. A good and a bad. I never got many chances to see the lighter side of Slade except for the few times as his apprentice. Why is he like this? Maybe this is why I find dark places more comforting, maybe its—no... I shake my head at this, there is no way that Slade is like me. I couldn't even understand why there was only one eye hole for the mask when I looked at it. What ever happened to the other eye? Surely Slade wasn't mad enough to gorge out his own eye? Perhaps, just perhaps something drastic happened to it in a battle of some sort. Maybe someone did something to him.

Slade's mask represents him in some way just how my own mask does. His, not showing any facial feature at all except for his single, taunting, cold blue eye. Mine, shows everything except the eyes, my light blue eyes in which I refuse show anymore since the day I became Robin. This is how we are different, Slade is Slade, I am me and we are just not alike. Even though my mask hides my identity and his hides his, it's different isn't it? The way Slade looks at me, the way he walks, the way he gets under my skin all the time, it's not even like I get under his do I? Maybe. Although the time when I broke out of Slade's apprenticeship I seemed to get under his skin plenty of times then. I smile at this, knowing that the man actually got angry. I let out a small chuckle as the memory came to mind, the way he got angry was a lot like the way that I—no.

_I'm not like you. I'm not like you, Slade._

I tell my self that over and over again but it's not convincing anymore is it? shaking my head, I try to get rid his image, but it comes back to haunt me. I raise my eyes from my desk and stare daringly at that mask. I couldn't take them away from the damn thing, there was no escaping him at all.

**"If that is what you think, silly child."**

I look back at the mask in my hands sensing a prickling sensation traveling down my back and the brittle black hairs on my neck stood up from goosebumps. Looking over to my clock, it was late alright, 3:58am to be right on the dot. I sigh thinking that perhaps I should get out and go sleep on the sofa in the lounging area for tonight. There was really no need to get crazy now like I did last time which almost killed me.

_It's all in my mind, all in my mind... _

I thrust the mask back up against the wall with hate. My time here is done, and now that I am hearing his voice, it's just time to leave the room for a bit and...

**"You and I are so very much alike after all."**

My eyes widen as I look up at that mask. It was talking to me in Slade's voice, he wouldn't leave my head. I tried to steady my breathing, this wasn't real! surely I was just imagining all of this.

_You aren't real. Leave me alone._

Chuckling echoed around my room. I looked left and right taking a fighting stance almost expecting him to come out from the darkness just as he always does. Deciding that it was too loud to be voices in my head, I tilt my head to my side knowing he has to be somewhere in my room. Agitated and clearly ready to throw a punch at the next movement I see out of the darkness, I bare my teeth and growl. He is here isn't he? I look around again shifting my eyes as I began to back up for a better view. The corners of my room were empty, therefore Slade couldn't be here. After thoroughly making sure there was no one in my room except for me, my fighting stance demolishes. He isn't real, at least not here with me now he isn't.

"**Oh, I'm very real.", **mocked the voice, **"my apprentice, you have so much to learn."**

_I'm not your apprentice..._

My heart began racing wildly against my chest knowing I had to get away, I had to leave but I couldn't leave. What if Slade was really up to something and it wasn't my imagination running wild? I ran my hand across my back feeling the sweat stick to it like glue while looking to the side again seeing no one in sight.

** "Alone again, Robin?", **pitied Slade's voice in that chiding way that I loath above everything.

He made me feel so small, and small is what I felt right at that moment. Not only was I small, but I was trapped and needed to get out. I could just call the Titans, but then again—how could I? Last time I claimed Slade being there, he wasn't. My friends thought I was losing my mind, and they were right about that too. My heart skips a beat knowing there was really nothing I could do right now. If I go to my friends, I would be going a hundred steps backwards because I know they would listen to me like a team should and go and searching the tower for him. They wouldn't find anything though, and convince me then that I was just having a bad dream. It will be almost like a child's parents checking under his bed for monsters, finding nothing and then proving to him that monsters aren't real. It is the same thing as running to the Titans to tell them that Slade is in the tower. They aren't going to find anything, It would be a very childish thing for me to go through. That option was out of the question for sure cause I am not a petty _child! _

Slade chuckled as I backed up slowly into one of my covered walls that were covered of papers of that bastard which I hated beyond belief.

**"As long as I'm around..."**

How I hate him, the way he spoke in such a dark tone, the way he looked at me in that way that he expected so much from me. It killed me when he praised me, as if I was some dog and yet the times he criticized me only killed me more. It was like slowly turning a blasted knife through my gut instead of doing it quick to end it all. Slade was just that, he turned it slowly to cause inscrutable pain. Every turn of that knife almost made me want the acceptance, and yearn for his praise. Madding me more and more each time he done so just the way he wanted to, knowing he was always there, Slade.

**"you are never alone."**

Words in which were not suppose to be spoken rang out in my chamber. I couldn't control it anymore, it was eating away at my gut there was no breathing during this as it constricted my lungs.

"I hate you", I growled while balling up a fist turning away from the mask pretending it wasn't there, "And when I find you...", Oh I was mad, I was steaming from my face now,

"I'll finish you."

The word "kill" just didn't make it out from my mouth as easily as "finish" did.

:::Flashback::::

_I was now able to see his taunting persona up close towering above my own. I lowered my head as he walked up to me knowing that I said something I really shouldn't have. He was going to get angry now, my temper once again rising sky rocket potential._

"_That sounds like a threat, young man."_ _He warned, "Quite a good threat, actually. Betrayal, destruction, revenge. We really do think alike."_

_he pleased over this fact that it was becoming more and more true. I wanted to deny it, It couldn't be true but these days, it sure seemed like it was. Who was I kidding? We were nothing alike, I'm nothing like him! But I knew now that I was denying this, I was more angry at myself for letting him get to me. Feeling rage take over my body I grit my teeth in a huge snarl trying to keep the anger bottled up. _

"_I am not him",I quickly tell myself, but sensing a new view of it all stir around inside me, another voice argues just as quickly._

"_Yes I am..."_

_Said the snide little voice on the inside. It was going to win, if I didn't stop it?_

_NO!!_

_I throw a punch at the psychopathic, but finding not to my surprise that Slade once again beats me at this, catching my wrist in his rather large hand. I groan at this, and let out a sharp cry as I feel my wrist being bent the way it was not suppose to go. The cracking of near breaking bones filled the still, dead air above us. Must have been music to Slade's ears as I yelled out in frustration._

" _I monitored your vital signs during the mission. Elevated heart rate, adrenaline, endorphins." Slade spoke while glancing up into the monitors. My face strained for relief in my arm as he continued to press on my wrist harder and harder._

"_You won't admit it, but at some level-" Even pain was unable to block out his arrogant voice._ _"-you enjoyed stealing for me. It was a thrill, wasn't it?", he slyly said purring into my ear a little over a whisper._

_He released my arm. Without much thought about it I rub it in order to relieve it from further pain, not caring much if Slade saw me doing it or not._

"_You're going to keep stealing, Robin.",he predicted, removing the blaster of the weapon at hand "And you're going to keep getting that thrill." _

_He looks back at me, in that same way that he always does. That way that will always forever more make my heart skip a few beats between thoughts and my stomach doing somersaults until the butterflies would subside and die. The way he always looks at me, the way that looks like he is saying, "Your perfect, you know that?" or "Wait till I'm done with you, your going to be a product of me." _

"_And sooner or later-"As if pausing in his sentences didn't bother me enough, " -you will see things my way."_

_No. No I am not, but I just did didn't I?_

_I look down at my shoes for a split second while too many thoughts swarmed my mind. I enjoyed stealing for him? I did--I really did. My mind did a flip, something crooked was swimming inside my interior and I didn't know what it was anymore. Hell no, I didn't even know who I was anymore other than Slade's apprentice. Did I forget who I was fighting for? My friends and their lives? I looked away from him embarrassed of my actions, he knew very well that I was--I am-- so much like him._

_I enjoyed the thrill--I really, honestly did. And worse off, It was Slade who I instead of looking up at in pure hatred, began to soften. I didn't know why hate wasn't so great as It use to be. I mean, yea, I sure did hate the man in what he did, he murdered, he stole, he was a crimelord of a city and perhaps more than that. However as much as I hated him, I kinda felt his presence in the room feel "normal." It was like seeing him was a normal thing now. The times of me working out in his weight room while he sat at his desk near by and looked up at me here or there. The way how he watched me eat at the dinner table, the way how he walked me to my room before bed, during then he would tell me what I needed improving on and what I already progressed in. Even combat training, it was just "normal" to see him there, armored body, mask, and all. He was the darkness to me at times, the darkness was consuming me, I hated it, it was almost comforting. _

_Slade put the weapon in which I stole for him back together. I held up my right arm seeing how he was turning to me to place it on it. He walks up to me as if something else was on his mind. It was almost scary that I was beginning to see what Slade was thinking about and it certainly was not about the next mission, nor about extra combat lessons in his gym, or weaponry lessons. No. It was about something else—something more—something out of his character to wonder about._

" _**Who knows? I might even become like a father to you."**_

_There was a huge pause as he takes my wrist and clamps the blaster onto it. I look at the thing as thoughts pondered my brain causing the biggest mind grain I ever had._

_I lower the weapon on my arm suddenly. Batman. _

"**I already have a father." **

_I say this to him quietly, not intending it to be an angry sarcastic remark. After all, it was not as if Slade intended it to be something it wasn't. The man stood in silence, his eye staring into my skull as if I had just said something brute to him. I look up embarrassed that the man hit such a touchy subject into me as all thoughts flowed around Batman. _

_Batman. _

_He was the one who became an adopted father to me after seeing my parents' unforgettable death just because at my age, he had gone through the same thing. At first I thought Bruce Wayne was just a big business man with no time. Was I really so much like this man? Would I end up just like him? Rich, prosperous but the loneliest man in the world? Then discovering that he was the Batman changed a few things. He was the white knight dressed in a black suit, I was Robin the boy wonder, Batman's sidekick at heart. However Batman self image didn't change in the way I thought it might. He was still rich, prosperous, but non the less still the loneliest man in the world. _

_Realizing just this, my mask grimaces over barley realizing that Slade was approaching me with ease in his step instead of with malice. Thoughts of Batman still lingering above me, I unknowingly bowed my head. _

_I was not Batman's apprentice, I was just a sidekick, and player in his game._

_The Bat hardly ever called me "son". Only on the rarest occasions did he ever go by this and I so much like a child, would simply bask myself in this when he called me it. I hated it too, at times Batman would treat me too much like a child and tell me things he thought I couldn't do. It angered me, Batman refused to call me son and yet he treated me still like his kid! Then there was Slade, who even though chided me when I was wrong still allowed me to be something more, a heir. Batman didn't want me as just that, Slade did, and that was the difference. What I hated most in this was how Slade was giving me the chance that Batman never would._

_I stood in complete fustration at this feeling as my jaw tensed._

_Why couldn't it just be Batman? Why did it have to be Slade? Why him?_

_I felt heat begin to rush to my head and my muscles tense. No. There was noway I was going to have another nervous breakdown in front of Slade. Then something made me flabbergasted by what happen next. Suddenly, as if my thoughts seemed to be read by the mastermind himself, a firm hand found a place on my shoulder. In a reaction like no other, I shot my head up surprised in what he was doing. My mask must have showed it when embarrassed of how I just let him do that. I didn't want to show him that I needed the unusual kind jester so I turned my gaze back down at my steel toed shoes. _

_It was silent for a while, I could see that Slade didn't want to go toward such a touchy subject so fast. He knew it bothered me, but he knew that perhaps was not the right time to get into it. He rubbed my shoulder trying to be supportive, it was almost—comforting._

_"Robin" _

_He said this without that taunting tone of voice he always had. I gaze up into his mask searching for the biggest answer of all, but knowing very well that it may never be answered. I was just so confused. Why was he doing this? Why can't he stay the Slade that I hated? why must he change on me so quickly that it would catch me off guard? Why Slade?_

_I hate him._

_I hate how he can have that effect on me to get me to calm down..._

_I must of whispered something under my breath not realizing that I did so. Why must thoughts not stay in my head when they are suppose to around him?_

_"It's just...You can't be...I can't be, but I want—I don't know what I want anymore..."_

_I didn't even know what I wanted to say to Slade. It was as if clear thoughts did not come out clear enough for anyone else to understand. Slade did however understand every word. He always understood me..._

_"Its alright. You can tell me when your ready. After all, I can't force you to like this or myself in that matter."_

_The villain that I seemed to know forever, gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. He eyed me carefully as if afraid to miss every little detail of my reaction to him. _

"_Give it a chance, Robin, and maybe you'll realize that I've been giving it to you all along. "_

_I couldn't breath, I couldn't even believe that Slade wasn't acting in that heartless way he always did. I barely noticed when he took his hand off my shoulder and began to ruffle my hair lightly. I sighed and nodded to him wordlessly, my throat dry and couldn't reply with words anymore. I was lost, and never to be found. _

_He turned to go head back to his office leaving me to stand alone. I didn't want to be alone though and I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to say something that could make him understand what he shouldn't know. _

_"Slade?" _

_He stopped and turned his head to eye me curiously._

_"Yes, Robin."_

_I looked around me, almost expecting someone to be listening in to this conversation. I hesitated and I was sure Slade could see it because his eye narrowed conspicuously while I fumbled with my words._

_Just say it..._

_said a little voice inside of me_

_no._

_But you know you want to._

_I can't..._

_Just say "thankyou"_

_oh fine!_

_"Uh..." I said scratching the back of my head with my hand, "Thanks."_

_Slade nodded his head in comprehension, My spine chilling as a sly smile was forming under his mask._

_That cool monotoned voice flowing around my head. That voice that I loathed beyond all things. The kinder Slade left the masterminds character and the Slade that I hate returned once more. My mask narrowed in protest, knowing that he once again beat me somehow and in someway. I lost just now—again. If I didn't lose physically he would beat me up mentally. _

_I hate him._

_"I have another mission for you, apprentice."_

_::::End of Flashback::::_

The room's air has a very stiff edgy feeling to it, like a monster would pop out of the closet at any moment. I was a sweaty mess, my face was perspiring,and my uniform which I did not bother to change out of was sticking to my body. Black spiky hair was now matted into a a uncontrollable damp mop. Sweat driblets formed under my mask from blinking at a rapid pace. I turned my head back toward that mask and once again snatched it off the wall and sat at my desk with the burden at hand. I transfixed my vision on it suddenly noticing once again that I could no longer turn away.

**"You and I are so very much alike. "**

My lungs were being constricted, my eyes transfixed, my body binded to my seat. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath. His image filling all the dark corners of the room in my mind. Black and orange began to consume me. I stand in the spotlight with his armor on my body, his signature across my chest.

_**"I'm nothing like you!"**_

Blades clash together, hearts raced trying to out run the other, metal steel clanked with another, fist curled up into a ball, an elbow in my stomach and a grand hit to my kidneys. I lay sprawled out on the cement like a wounded animal while he watched me intently with that never dieing ice blue eye.

**"Robin. Is that the best you can do?"**

I couldn't breath, my lungs were ripped out of my chest as bones cracked ever so brutally in my body. A knife dangles on a string as I bleed in such a mockery. My screams never letting up once. I hate him. But why do I keep following him? Why is it that I kept searching for him even after his bloody death?

_**"You're a criminal, a psychopath! All you care about is destruction!"**_

Teeth being bared, sharp claws digging into skin, I rage, heat flows to the head as the need to spill blood covers a heart now turned black. It was my heart that was blacken at first thinking that the blacken heart I wanted to stab was his. I want him dead. Screams still filling the air, not my own screams anymore but others. I howler in anger, rage I cant see. I tare at a body, I don't know whose but I fight none the less, I think it's him.

**" Excellent work, Robin. I think your skills are improving."**

How I hate him and what he made me into this beast. All I see is blackness turning to crimson red. I couldn't control, I've lost it. A sea of red grows underneath my feet as grass would grow. I look down at my feet, I've killed them. I look around death becomes the earth. The black and orange figure still in tack luring above me like a hawk.

**"And all you care about, you destroy."**

In shame I put on the uniform of RedX. It's mask just as mysterious as my own but more like—more like—his? The mask covers the eyes as well as the face. I was turning into him.

_No. Not like Slade. _

I sat at my desk solemly caressing papers upon papers like a mad man. Who is he? What does he want from me? Why is he doing this to me? I need to find him, track him down, lock him up for good. Who is he?

_**" Who is Slade?"**_

I needed to catch him, to make him pay for what he did. No, this was no longer about protecting just the city but my friends too. I shook my head again thinking that maybe I was trying to protect more than that. Perhaps I was trying to protect myself too. Most importantly I was losing this war, and I hate to lose. I hate to lose almost as much as...

_No._

_Not like Slade._

I couldn't find anything out about him. It was like fighting off a ghost that is already dead. There were no clues, no recorded documents about him, not even a single record of how he became the crook he is even. Why is he doing this? Who is he? What does he want from me?

"_**Lead was a dead end...I'm close to a break through...Sure you guys can handle this without me?"**_

Her eyes were of pain that day as she stood by my door. I will never forget that day when I failed my friends, betrayed them almost, became the villian willingly without the enforcement of Slade there. It was me; RedX was who I was, still am in that same sense.

_No._

My head becomes still, my neck was fixed in the possession as my eyes swarmed within the memory of Slade's mask.

_I'm not like Slade._

"**That is not true. Whoever Slade is, you and he are similar. Slade did not trust you **

**-and you did not trust us."**

How though can I be like Slade if Slade is the villain and I am the hero? Doesn't anybody have enough sense to see the line that separates us and our differences? I look at the burden I hold between my two pure hands and start to think back to what Starfire said. That is perhaps the line that separates the good and the bad is a lot thinner than I thought it might be. Where good can be bad and bad could be good by just standing on that line.

_** "The line is supposed to be clear." **_

How a mere line can divide a civilization into the people who commit crimes and the people who stop them, lays very well beneath me.

"_**There are no generators! There is no Slade!"**_

But I know whats true, and whats true is this. Such a line does not exist.

_**"I know what I saw!"**_

I knew what the others failed to recognize...

"_**I have to stop him! I'm the only one who can!"**_

And sometimes that line can be hard to see. Such a line can be ignored, there is no electric fence that divides the sides. It can be passed without a fee, It can be crossed over many times without having to bid one's life on a side. Some lines shouldn't be crossed, a line like this never should but is everyday and at everyplace. The line is permeable, there is no rules to how to cross it.

"_**And I'll take down anyone who gets in my way**!"_

Here is why I do know what is true. Days like today, I would sit here at this desk and stare at this mask at hand, seeing a mask that represents not one, but both sides of that line. I would then wonder and ponder over and over again if I stand on such a line instead of crossing it, or laying on one side of that line. There are very few people who would realize that the line is thinner than they might believe it to be. Such a line in which Slade always seemed to stand on.

_Just like Slade..._

"**Excellent, Robin. We appear to be evenly matched and equally ruthless."**

My lip trembles uncontrollably just then as that voice continues to linger around me like a ghost. Why me though? What made me so special even if I was like him, he could of just found another apprentice couldn't he? Look at Terra! She was nothing at all like Slade was and she did a fine job as his heir. Look at me! I failed him didn't I? And yet he still wants me by his side till this day all because he thinks we are so much alike. An Apprentice doesn't have to be like his master, and yet here I am. Why me?

_Why me Slade? Why not them?_

That voice chuckled around me in a chiding way that was musing at what he would call ignorance and complete bliss of the situation.

"**This isn't about your friends, Robin. It's about you. It's always been about you."**

But he wants more. He doesn't just want me as his apprentice. But what did he say? What did he say to me that made me the way I am today? He is still alive isn't he? What is he doing now? Why do I care so much? Why?

_**"What?"**_

There was always something in the way he looks at me. It was confusing, it was a way in which he looked at me like he couldn't believe what I was giving him. The thing I just don't understand was what was I giving him in the first place. The way he stood like a man should stand, protective of what they own and what they cherish.

"**Sending trouble your way. Leaving cryptic clues for you to unravel. I was testing you. For some time now, I have been searching for an apprentice."**

I've always notice the glint of glee he always got in his eye whenever I pleased him. To me, it just seemed like Slade's way of getting excited about something. That something was me, but to him... I wasn't just a something, I was surely a someone. Despite how much I hated being his apprentice, I've always liked one thing about it. The one thing that I will forever keep on kicking myself in the head for thinking about it was this, Slade never treated me the way Batman did, the way my "father" treated me like a "something." Slade was the one who treated me like a father should treat their own son, like a "somebody."

" **Someone to follow in my footsteps. And, Robin, I've chosen you. Congratulations."**

He choose me above all others but why did he choose me? Was it the fact that I did not have any superpowers intrigued him and made him do this? Maybe it was because my abilities were similar to his own. The only thing about Slade's abilities was the fact that they were somehow modified. After all, you don't have to be a genius to figure that out, because all the Titan's were able to see how Slade's fist can crack cement and physical strength is beyond human capabilities. He is not only physical but a mastermind as well, he is extremely intelligent, far smarter than any villain we ever known and came in contact with. Slade's skills in fighting are beyond normal as well. He choose me, powerless as I was to become the next _him_.

_But you want more from me. What else can I give you?_

There was something about the man that I never understood. I never could gain a complete grasp on what he wants, what his needs are. From knowing Slade like I do now, he always enjoyed being in control and loved when I fought him for it. To me, It seems like Slade is playing at something out of my reach. The way he always mocks me, making me feel wrong and committed a huge crime. What crawls under my skin the most is the way he just _looks _at me like I was a child. Not only that but the way he would petty me over things that I should have been in control over. Things by means of my temper, he loved how it was a challenge for him to control. He enjoyed the times when he would lecture me about it. After all lecturing was what Slade did best.

"**Give it a chance, Robin, and maybe you'll realize that I've been giving it to you all along. "**

My heart stopped dead at that moment as something unruled over came me. My eyes bug out of their sockets as I look at the mask in my hands dazzled at it. After being Slade's apprentice I've always known one thing that I held as an advantage over him. Slade didn't have a family. He didn't have a girlfriend, or a wife, or children. In fact, Slade didn't have any friends either. The only person closest to family or a friend that he had in that desolate lair was his butler, Wintergreen.

A shutter flows down my spine as something else crosses my mind. Slade, as much as I hate to admit it, is very similar to Bruce(or at least in the way how he lives.) Bruce is just as solitary as Slade is, and Alfred acts the same way to Bruce as Wintergreen does for Slade. They are both mysterious , which has me drawn to both of them, more so to Bruce because he is the hero. What leaves me in awe about the whole situation is how their lives are so similar and yet so different but their difference in general put me at awe the most.

"**Wisdom comes alone through suffering, apprentice"**

Slade didn't have a family, Bruce didn't have a family. Bruce adopted me and Slade forced me to do his bidding because he wanted me to be his heir. Both are very powerful men, both serve a part despite how one is a villain and one is the hero. They are both dark people in general. Darkness is a result of all wrong that happened to them. Bruce of course, I know his reasonings on why he became the way he was. His parent's were murdered, and he felt the need to blame his self for their deaths. However Slade's is a different story, his story seems more brutal than Bruce's which makes him even darker. Sometimes I sit her, and ponder constantly about what made the assassin the way he was. I frown at this knowing it destroyed his life and made him this way.

None the less, Slade was alone and he would always be. Maybe thats why he wanted me. Not only as an apprentice...

_no...not only as an apprentice._

I knew very well what that might be. I didn't want to admit what it was but things were becoming more clearer... and worse of all...worse of all...

My face begins to flush and I am able to feel heat start to rise to my head. Something over comes me that I could't control and once again, I hate not being in control just like...

_Yes, Just like Slade_

_In shame I blink my eyes and feel something new open up to me just then. I couldn't control anything any more. Nothing else mattered now that I just admitted to my self that I was just like him, Slade that bastard. A crime lord of a city, a complete blown out deadly assassin that enjoyed destroying lives, that found a pleasure in rebuilding and enslaving, controlling, and ruling over whatever he could get his filthy, blood stained hands on. He was a crook, a villain, a thief. I just compared my self to him??? _

_What is wrong with me?_

There really was something wrong with me. That or it was too late and I had what the Titan's would call as "Slade on the Brain." My eyes were getting wary, and my head was starting to feel light. My vision begins to blur before me and all the shame that I was feeling was making me sink deeper into my desk. I couldn't get away from him.

_What he wants from me is something I can't give him.._..

What he wants from me I just can't provide him with. I am stuck and trapped in something I never really wanted to be. The fact that I am the hero, I can not quit. To quit would be like taking the easy way out. Between the justice league, The Batman and the Titans I can never have that opportunity to get out of it. We can't stay heroes forever could we? I just wish there was someway I could get out.

_And what he wants from me..._

Is something that he too denies. To want an apprentice is just an excuse that he takes to get out of what the man really wants. He is in denial about it the same way I deny what I want. God knows that I can't have what I want because of the two different sides we stay on. It divides us in person, it divides my desire.

_Is what I want from him..._

I could almost imagine a small boy standing besides a strong man. A way a father would place his hand on the small boy's shoulder and tell him that everything is going to be alright. The way the strong man would walk like a strong man should walk, with his boy trying to mimic the way he does this because he wants to be "just like dad". The way the man would talk to other adults how a strong man should talk, with his child behind him realizing how much power he holds. A man dressed in black with his child dressed the same, always wanting something...

_Something we both lack..._

I didn't even realize how wet my cheeks were becoming as I pondered over and over about this one main fact. Slade is a man with no children and I am a child with no parents. The only thing that divides this match is that blasted line that divides the good from the bad. The more I think about this, the more I realize that just perhaps this line never was there in the first place.

_Something we both need..._

_:::Flashback:::_

_He walks up to me as if something else was on his mind. It was almost scary that I was beginning to see what Slade was thinking about and it certainly was not about the next mission, nor about extra combat lessons in his gym, or weaponry lessons. No. It was about something else—something more—something out of his character to wonder about._

"**Who knows? I might even become like a father to you."**

:::Flashback:::

As I sit here in this room, alone, with this mask at hand I finally realized what I've denied to see. I've always knew this, and yet I try so hard to convince myself that this wasn't real. No matter how hard I've tried to ignore the truth, but the truth kept coming out. I needed a father, Slade needed a son and yet we could never be known that way because I already have a Batman.

_I'm sorry..._

Hot tears flow freely from my masked eyes, such eyes that Slade will never see, I can't let him see, because if he sees my eyes he'll see me, not Robin but the son who he needs and can never have.

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**Authors Note: Well thats all for now till next chapter when we read the end of Slade's POV. How did you all like Robin's? Notice that at first he was in denial about him being a lot like Slade and then at the end he finally admits he is and he needs Slade. Just so you know most of these quotes were from different episodes of the show and very few were from me. There was one quote though that Is not from me and is from _Aeschylus_ a greek play. Its the quote up top about wisdom. The only thing I did was add "apprentice" to the end of that. It sounded pretty Slade-like so thats why I put it up their pretending that Slade might I have said some things to Robin between the Apprentice episodes. I mean really! Who knows what happened then! Of course I have been inspired by some other fanfics that influenced this. They were all awesome again! So R and R people!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **yeah so I am a non profit author who doesn't own Teen Titans.

**Authors Note:** Okay...

So I may have abandoned this story for a month or so but I am BACK... Oh my gosh...I am so sorry for it too but please understand people, life isn't going well for me well and it was taking me a lot of time to make the rest of this story go where I wanted it to go. Everything else is getting on my mind lately. I was having some family issues and you know...all that jazz ...and I was preparing for my finals in school. My horsey came back from the hospital and he is now on the road to recovery :). Hopefully everything else will go on well but in case it doesn't I will be sorry to say that this the grand finale of Robin's POV won't be posted up for another month. Well anyways, just to let you all know...I have made and oath to finish this and finish it good. Here it is:

(May I have a drum roll please?)

The Grand Finale of Slade's Pov

Yes people, and I mean all 21 pages of it. Just a warning but yeah, this chapter is pretty long. I'm hoping I didn't let anyone down with it either. I hope it gave some people chills like it gave me while I was writing this. . So please R and R!! I would really appreciate it :D thank you all for being so patient with me.

(Yeah...I may need another drum roll now haha)

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Slade's Pov Part 3

_I watched him for the longest time I ever watched anyone in my whole entire life._

His face scrunching up in agony as he tried to fight it but ended up defeated from the battle in the end. Tears? Yes actual _tears_ were streaming slowly down his rather pale cheeks. His mask eyes, which normally showed no emotion at all, were leaking such tears and the way that he looked at my mask sifted in so many ways. What is all of this emotion?

Watching the sad sight before me I began to see angry tears churn themselves into hopelessness, then back into rage then into despair. To me it seemed like the boy couldn't make up his mind at all. In complete embarrassment, Robin finally buried his face into one of his arms while holding the mask in the hand opposite to that. The boy cracked, indeed he just did. The stubborn insolent child finally broke into little pieces that made him into this mess he was. The child was indeed a "mess", but this beautiful little disaster before me could be made into something amazing. I smiled just then knowing that soon enough I will have Robin standing by my side once more.

_Yes, my apprentice will be by my side for all eternity._

Listening to the monitors as I watched the teen's shoulders begin to shake, I hear small sobs escape his chest. Robin was literally having a breakdown all because of me, and because of me I've created this sad sight. For a moment I take my eye off the screen looking down at the hands that rest on the table I am leaning on. These hands of mine made the teen wonder this way. Yes, Robin was my creation.

_I made him_, _and now I am breaking him_.

Soon he will be so broken apart that he will need fixing once again. A cruel, twisted smirk raises on my face as a new plan comes to my brilliant master mind. I will be the one to do that, rebuild him into something great.

Then out of the blue, an enraged voice shakes my monitors and rattles the speakers. I snap my head up in response and see a rampaging Robin abruptly getting up from his chair, grabbing it and flinging the piece of furniture with such grand force that it flew across his bedroom hitting the wall where it's wooden legs snapped with ease. My eye widens from this and then narrows as the boy(still clutching my mask in his right hand) continues to destroy his living area. He grows in rage and is voice cracks from the previous sobs.

_Tsk, tsk. Robin, no need to get upset over such a thing._

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Robin rips the papers off his desk and trashes them to the ground all while letting out another flustered scream. I cross my arms pleased in what I was seeing. At first, doubting that he was going to make a come back on his behavior going by his first reaction, I chuckle at his question.

..._your apprenticeship, my little bird. That is all I ever wanted from you._

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!", the child shouts again, this time tearing the lamp off the desk resulting in a loud pop of the light bulb. Temper, Temper. The teen was really throwing a tantrum and if he kept this up his dimwitted friends might rush in his room to save his day.

_Never, child. I refuse to do so..._

Robin turns to his wall putting his hand on it ready to tare newspaper clippings off in a heart beat. He does so without hesitation and his voice full of headstrong rage much like my own. It was like watching my younger self in action. This interested me the most when the hot tears kept pouring down his face all the same.

"I HATE YOU!!!" , he hissed as if spitting out poison.

My eye narrows again and I cross my arms satisfied. Of course he does, he has every right to. I destroyed his life, blackmailed him, threaten to kill whatever left of a family he has. I died, and judging how his wall full of paper clippings of myself remains untouched since the last time I checked up on him (before my death) I was somehow, someway still there mocking him, haunting him, lurking in the shadows of his mind till he drove him self out of it; perhaps even crazy. Then I came back, this to no surprise done him in again. Not only was I alive but working for a demon, not to mention that when my mask flew off my face it showed him nothing more than a decaying scull. Now the boy knows that my body is back to normal and so is my flesh. He must be eager to know what lays beneath it, probably still has dreams about my identity as well. With this, how I refuse to die and still out there, pushes him well off the edge. However, despite all I done to make his life a complete hell hole, I've given him something that he could not refuse. He did though, the little brat happen to put me at awe by that clever mind of his once again. This all justkept bringing me to the same question. A question that holds a purpose in this whole mess, Does the boy really hate me that much after all?

_Oh my little Robin, why can't such rage be churned into something greater instead of something so unstable?_

Curious I am when I see the stubborn brat turn sulky. I bring my finger to my chin seeing him lean his forehead against the wall while panting hastily. Sweat was trickling down his neck while he tried to catch his own breath. Calming down finally, Robin turns and leans his body against the wall in deep thought. It must be interesting what that mind must be thinking about. Yes, in my option that is interesting indeed.

I cock my head in concern trying to make out what my apprentice was saying. The boy glanced down at my mask and soft words were only able to be made out barley in a whisper. Straining my ear to pick up his words, I am stunned by the tone of voice coming out of his mouth. No, this was not Robin the strong, brave leader of a team of superhero teenagers, No, this was not the boy wonder I've always known. His voice wasn't so determined and unfeeling, instead it sounded small, it was as if it was coming out of a small child. What I couldn't put together was the way he looked at my mask. It was not out of anger and frustration that he did this, nor was it out of pure rage or pigheadedness. Instead, to my astonishment, it was out of wonder. Robin wanted an answer but more importantly he wanted to just _understand_. He sounded so distraught and helpless that the sorrowful sight was almost alien to how the boy wonder would act toward seeing my presence taunt his pathetic shadow.

**"Why are you _really _doing this?"**

_Oh, why child do you keep on catching me off guard?_

I really did not know the answer at that moment.

**"Is it because you want someone more than just an apprentice, Slade?"**

There was a long silence and answering that question seemed impossible to do. Knowing there was not going to be an answer, Robin glared at the mask at hand.

More silence...Perhaps the child really doesn't hate me as much as he says he does. Perhaps he is just in denial about what his needs are. Somehow the child puts me at awe, of course I am in control with how I react to such a pitiful sight, but remain in awe non the less.

**"You want a son."**

My heart skipped a beat and my lungs failed to refill themselves, eye narrowing in loathing of the boy as the pain that I felt before stung my insides again. Refusing to bend over in to show a weakness, I unfolded my arms to clench my fist tightly. That pain, the insufferable pain was going to eat away of my inside gut if i didn't gain control. There was no doubt that something was wrong with me and I seriously needed to find out about it. Leaning into the screen again ignoring the tug in my gut I strained to hear Robin. The pain was becoming too much, the agony _amused_ me so. Seeing Robin glaring at my mask made every thing spin.

**"You want me.."** He paused on spite, **"But you can't have me..."** His voice grew dark as that of his Batman but something made him hesitate with the next line.

I watched his lip tremble once more as he shut his eyes tightly almost as if forcing something out that was hard to say and half-heartily spoken. It was almost like he was put in the same pain as I was when he said it, he was a bit dissapointed and seemed to wish that such words wouln't be spoke at all. It was completely out of the ordinary, in other words plain bizarre.

"**_I will never be your son."_**

In another long pause of thought, the boy wonder placed my mask back up on the wall and began to walk toward his bed. He paused abruptly turning to face the mask again adding a new thought. His face not angered, nor was it distressed, sad, nor happy. Instead to my surprise, it was full of sympathy. _Sympathy_? Yes. To my displeasure and uneasiness toward the situation, the boy felt sorry for _me_.

**"Now at least I understand you. Your human. A murderer perhaps, but human none the less. Seems logical now why you are the way you are. "**

There was another moments silence as I cocked my head intriguingly. Robin's masked features grew dark and a menacing smile took place of the frown he wore previously. He switched the lamp on his night stand off and began to crawl into his bed.

**" It must _kill_ you to know that what you want you can _never _have, doesn't it _Slade_"**

I clench my jaw tightly as I finally let the affliction take hold of my gut again. I let out a groan from it and began to keel over the table while still eying the screen long enough to burn a hole through the thing. That insufferable boy, how ruthless yet completely clever he is, just like his master, just like me. Unfortunately for me, his competent attitude was beginning to catch up to his master's. It left me nothing but pain at the end of this, my white knuckles slammed down onto the table and left a dent in it's mental surface. I couldn't take this anymore, the boy was me. Those words seemed like they could of came out of my own mouth.

_Yes Robin. Yes. It does kill me, unfortunately for you and me, I can't die. Child, I will be your death._

I've seen enough.

Shutting off the monitors I turn on my heel and walk away. Fist still clenched, fingers still wrapping around that abhorrent mask. Pain was no more, life to me at that moment was simply dreadful. That boy was going to be the bane of my existence till the end of time.

Down the dreary bleak halls I walked. I was angry, but not just angery. I was annoyed out of my mind, and very much agitated by everything beyond belief. What I still couldn't figure out was why that horrid detached pain came back to me. Why must I feel something? My body and my mind are immortal, I can not die, I can not feel, but yet I just did. There was something that must have set me off, something I overlooked through all these years. What Robin said rung in my eardrums worse than a mind grain can to the head.

**"Why are you **_**really **_**doing this?"**

I put my hands behind my back in protest while twisting his mask in my palms wishing that the next time we meet up I will be twisting Robin's body till it breaks in half. I smiled at that thought, It would be quite entertaining to my pupil to see that. I wanted to laugh at the thought just as I was thinking it but then something stopped me in the process of it all. A little tangy feeling overcame my stomach like a virus, I was confused by it and didn't know how to react from the feeling. Suddenly flashbacks of my own boys came to mind and just as they did I realized what that little pang in my gut was. Yes...I was feeling _guilty. _Twisting the bodies of my own children wouldn't be as pleasant to watch as I might have originally thought it was.

_Not to my own sons it won't..._

_Not to Robin..._

I wanted to sigh as I checked the time; 3:35 am. It was surely no use to sleep tonight, I wouldn't be able to even if I tried. The door to my room was right before me. Relieved to get away from everything, the door slid automatically open and I stepped in. The mind grain in my head was pounding against my temples, and the urge to pinch my nose was becoming apparent now. Taking off my metal toed boots and armor I headed over to the bathroom to go shower. Since I was not able to be able to sleep, a simple shower would be the next best thing. My stomach churned as I stepped onto the cold tiles. I begin to look around confusedly, why was I not relaxing? The day is over, there should be no worries, no problems. Yet despite it all, I feel agitated, like almost as if something inside of me has snapped.

** "Is it because you want someone more than just an apprentice, Slade?"**

_What?_

Putting a gloveless hand on the back of my neck I was able to feel the perspiration drip down onto my back. Sweat covered my armor less body and began to leak through the black clothing. I allow a bewildered gasp escape my breath as I look down at my perspiring palms.

_What is wrong with me?_

My heart began to race, my body trembled before me and my joints stiffened tremendously as if they were made that way. Something was very wrong indeed, and I didn't know what. In complete helplessness and vulnerability, I raise my masked face up to my reflection in the mirror. Then out of the dark, and the untouched crevices of my mind something twisted as I felt something crack from within.

**"You want a son."**

As soon as the words were spoken, flashbacks of a dieing Grant and a muted Joey with sad emerald eyes filled my head. Robin's voice among all voices thrived within me. Feelings of an uncontrollable force weakened my knees. Again, there was pain to follow as my body reacted against it's liking. My gut twisted in pure agony from the voice as if it was being torn open by a bloody knife. Overwhelmed and to my surprise, I scream out from the intense anguish flowing over my muscles in on coming waves forcing my body to bend over due to the pain. My lungs filling up with fluids that constricted them suddenly becoming panicky when I couldn't breath...

_I can't breath.._

I tried my best to remain calm as the strangling continued to stagger my breathing. Robin filled my head, I couldn't get rid of that masked face, that fiery expression, those eyes full of need of a father. Robin, he _needs _me. Without much control of my own body anymore I began to put up with a continuous cough that would have very well suited me if I was to hack my lungs out of my chest. Trying to vent more air through my mask, I frantically pull it off of my face tossing it aside. My facial features are transferred onto my reflection in the mirror just then and to my astonishment, my face is full of fear. At first I thought that the pale face man with spiky blond hair and one icy blue eye with a solid black patch over the other eye was not me. How could that person who's facial expression showing complete shock and hopelessness possibly be the cold, cruel, crime lord of a city? How can this weak minded fool be that assassin I am? No. This is not me.

**"You want me..."**

My head pounded against my skull as thought upon thought upon feeling upon another feeling surrounded me like cobwebs. I couldn't escape the boy, ridding myself from him was impossible. Gazing into my reflection, I could never guess that my icy blue eye could narrow so much from sheer emotion. Emotion? How was I even "feeling" in the first place?

_Robin. Why, my little Robin, do you have such an effect on me? Child, only you can make me feel._

As much as I hate to admit it, Robin is and always will be the only one who ever would. My jaw clenched impatiently as more thoughts of the boy came to my head. His tears staining his cheeks, his cry, his sobbing body on the desk filling up my head. To my astonishment the pain began to subside in my gut as the air around my head began to thin. I held my skull in my hands as I rested my elbows on the sink table.

_Robin, I need you._

**"But you can't have me..."**

The child's voice that was said again rang out in such a mockery that I myself would have done it if it was my own words. Clinging to the sink for support, I felt my legs begin to tremble weakened greatly. My mind racing, my heart skipping beats between my past and present as if the images of my previous life were slowly trying to reduce me to the black nothingness that clouded my mind.

**"**_**I will never be your son."**_

The night my body turned immortal, the pain, the tears, the suffering the rage in my brain throbbing out of control repeated tonight only this time just the opposite. Tonight was the night I felt my self turn mortal again. Addie's tender kiss pledged my lips all over again. I groaned in despair and fell to the floor as my inner passion flourished. Hearing her laugh, seeing her brilliant smile just one last time would be my world, my everything, my life. Her fair emerald eyes playing in my pools of blue, her silk for hair flowing through my finger tips gracefully, her body against my own in pure innocence like during our younger years before the boys. Grants cocky nature just like my own during the days he was just a mere child. Images of picking his small body up into my arms while I flew him around circles in the gardens brought happiness to me. He grew into such a figure like myself that showing him about the ways of the military interested him. Teaching him how to use weapons, fight, and study just made me smile. The boy grew more into a teenager, I stood by his side as a proud father would seeing his lively cocky face look up to me in admiration. He was proud to be my son. Joey, my second child was my pride and joy just as how his brother was. Representing the innocence of my wife, he brought happiness to my life. Her same green eyes smiling with what ever he did. I groan again feeling the hard surface of tile hit my head, the room began to spin. My sons; Grant, Joey, my sons...

**"Now at least I understand you..."**

_No. No you don't..._

Desired to rule all, to become important, to control all beings plagued my mind like a fatal disease would do to a body. That night that changed my life forever. Feeling my body shake uncontrollably, my muscles rip open like daggers being stabbed into them, and constantly rebuilding themselves. My body trashing about in the lab while watching my other comrades die a death full of agony that was also meant for me, haunted my nightmares. Their blood smeared across the walls like paint from their struggling, such blood I was to be seeing more of in the years to come. I was the sole survivor, the immortal man. Thoughts of killing turned my mind cold since the first time I ever put on the mask of Deathstroke. Slade is who I am...

**"Your human..."**

Control; I wanted to control all things and all beings. I wanted so much of it that I desired my son, my heir of the throne to become like me. I wanted him to have power, I wanted him to be my successor, and the only one who would stand by my side till the end of the world as Ravager, Deathstroke's son and heir, filled my hopes and dreams. Everything was well until that one mournful day when all was lost. My son was no more.

_No, I am immortal. How can a human be human when he shall not parish?_

Grant's dieing body fell into my arms that day like a rag doll. Painful tears rolled down his cheeks as tears did to my own. With a gentle hand I brushed away the matted blond hair from his eyes to uncover beautiful eyes clouding over as he stared into mine. The fire from within his pupils, despite how dull they were slowly fading, remained open and aware that I was there for him. Eyes always watching me in awe just as they always were, fading into into nothingness.

_Grant. No, don't leave me please don't go..._

**"A murderer perhaps, but human none the less."**

Joey's mournful cries haunted every place in my mind. There was no escape from it for yelling out in pain did not mute out the cry nor did it leave me as I held my head begging the noise to stop. Everything went black around me except for the image of my youngest charge being dragged away from my protection. My enemy holding a knife up to his throat for me and Addie to see, threating to kill him unless I decided to risk my job as _murderer_. I had a choice then, I could of saved the child but my stubbornness said otherwise. I was not going to sacrifice my well being for this, my arrogance showing that I could save the child all by myself but I was proved wrong. Yes I was. I never could forget how fast my body sprang into action as soon as that sinful blade touched the fair skin of my little boy nor can I recall of how quickly that knife slit his throat. Although Joey lived, I killed his voice. Joey could never sing another song to me, and worse off it was my fault. All my fault—I killed his life...

_Joey. Please...I'm sorry. Please forgive me, son..._

I knew that no matter how I pleaded for his forgiveness, sad little green eyes of a child would forever tell me that I've failed. I've lost his trust, and I've lost him. Sad little blue eyes would ever be the reminder that I've killed my children, that I've pushed my heir of the throne off the edge until blue little eyes clouded over in death. It was the eyes of my sons that undone me, it was in their eyes in which I've died.

**"Seems logical now why you are the way you are."**

All this time, I failed to realize my faults about why I am the way I am. For the longest of time I wanted to break the habit of having the need to destroy, rebuild, and control everything. I couldn't break that habit, I just fell deeper and deeper into bliss from it. The people who were at one time in my life, left a hole in whatever kind of a soul I still retained. Pain was always apparent, the agony from the memories haunted my mind at night and made me wake up in a sweaty panic. That all led up until I found out my immortality, died and came back. It was then that I realized something important, something that saved me from who I was. I lost a part of the old life I use to live because of my new "gift". The pain faded, feelings went astray, and I lost a part of who I was. That part in which I speak of, the part where I am able feel the unthinkable was reawakened once again by something so naive. I found that part of me again, the part that I previously thought was brutally slaughtered with the remainder of my obscene past. The part of me in which I am speaking of needed something. It took me until now to realize that the "something" was a "someone."

The blackness that was taking up my vision began to vanish as I felt myself coughing from the lack of air that was attempting to reach my lungs. My head throbbed painfully as I sat up from the cold bathroom floor. I had to get up, get Wintergreen to help. I couldn't control anything anymore, feeling the unwanted anxiety swell up in my chest once again. I couldn't control it, and if there is one thing I hate more than another, it is just that—control issues.

My heart jumped as I found myself on my knees once again and luckily enough I made it out of the bathroom. My legs were so weak that they couldn't support my weight. I was losing a battle with myself, and I don't like to lose. I knew very well that Robin would love to see me right now in my most vulnerable form. Robin.

The boy had to cross my mind again as I helplessly began staring in awe at the black rimmed mask that outlined it's white interior. I could even image that stubborn expression that played across his face. The determination that settled in his personality was enough to make anyone smile and pat the silly child on the head for that uncontrollable ignorance he has. After all, a teenager is still a child. Yes, an older and a more brute child but a child non the less. Robin...

Robin...

No matter what I tried to think about, all of my thoughts landed on him. I couldn't bring myself to what was going on. To put things in simpler terms, it was plain bizarre , odd, perhaps even unruly for me to think about the boy in the way I do. After all, Robin was merely an apprentice to me and nothing more than that. He would be someone who would one day take over as crimelord, my heir, and nothing more than that. What more can I ask of him? There is nothing more to that then a simple apprenticeship. I placed my hand to my forehead in thought that maybe I overlooked something about the 16 year old wonder. Perhaps—yes perhaps indeed...

Perhaps though there is more to what meets the eye about the little bird. Can I really crave something else out of Robin other than an apprenticeship? My eyes widen in realization of something completely new that just occurred to me as I look deeply into that mask at hand. All this time the facts been right in front of me, right there because whatever else I want from the boy is hard for Robin to give me. He wants to give it to me, I know he does, he wants to give me more than he lets on because he too needs what I can give to him. I can see it in his young face, I see the desire he tries to keep hidden underneath that serious expression, such an expression that he is forced to wear. That Batman of his made him like that, he took away whatever chance of a normal life my little bird could have lived. The boy became quite cold, such a quality that made me addicted to find out more about him and open him up for me to see what he is really like. The Titan's added to the problem of course by putting all of that responsibility on his shoulders. He became trapped in his own world, such a world that only involves doing what is so called "right" and preventing what is so called "wrong." His toll in society has pushed him away from the life he needs. No—no I am no talking about just an apprenticeship, I'm talking about what Robin doesn't have and wants more than ever. A second chance out of life, a family—a father.

I climbed up on my bed as If I was wounded and bleeding to death. I looked pitiful and weak, just as weak as that damn little bird of mine was when he sacrificed his own self for his insufferable, useless friends. Completely ignoring my pride I pushed a button on the caller to page Wintergreen for assistance. A fuzzy discharged noise sounded through the speakers.

"Yes, Master Slade. How may I be to your assistance?", came the reply to my call.

"Wintergreen?" , I called, croaking hoarsely as I did so . Surprise in how weak my voice was becoming from this pain, I then tried to straighten it. "I need you to bring sleeping pills to my corridor immediately."

There was silence on the other end. Wintergreen's docile voice changed to the voice I knew for many years. It was the voice of a friend expressing his concern for my well being.

"Slade. You seem stressed, sir", He implied. I wanted to answer him and tell him he was right. Wintergreen was always right on about everything with me. He had to be, I put up with him for so long and he done to the same with me. We are good friends, Wintergreen and I. It took so many years for the butler to be able to pinpoint every slight little thing that was going on. "I'll be up right away."

Within a few minutes there was a knock on my door. I pushed a button on the side of my night table motioning for the slide doors to open for my butler. Right away, Wintergreen came in with a small tray that had two very large sleeping pills, a glass of water, and a cup of tea.

"Dreamless sleeping pills that I myself created from the lab I assume?"

Wintergreen held the tray up to me and nodded with that same butler like appearance he always has on.

"Yes of course, sir", he said.

Without much thought I took the two pills into the palm of my hands. I started to stare at the two things wondering how long they would take to completely knock me into a dreamless abyss. Wintergreen's voice came right after I plopped the first starch white pill into my mouth.

"Is it the boy, sir?", asked Wintergreen dumping that typical question on me. I glared at him warningly as I took a swig of water to wash down the first pill. Wintergreen never backed off from things he knew he shouldn't be getting into, it was just how his personality came out. I cleared my throat to answer accordingly, he might as well know.

"He needs me, Wintergreen.", came my flat out answer to it. My eyes tightened from the new faze of pain passing through my gut. With all do to my discomfort, I grabbed the second pill and shoved it down my throat without the water hoping for a quicker effect. Wintergreen lowered the tray so I could take the tea. I blew gently onto the top of it so that the steam will let up and the liquid inside would cool. I sipped the tea slowly watching out of the corner of my eye as one of Wintergreen's eye brows raised in bewilderment.

"Have you ever came to think that there is more to it than that, sir?" asked Wintergreen and I looked up at him confusedly in response. _What Wintergreen? What more can there be to it than that?_

"No", I said quite blankly not expecting this conversation to take a root, "What exactly are you going at?"

I saw a wise look come across my butler's face. He smiled just then in that way that said, "You know very well what I'm talking about, Slade." or "Just look deep inside your mind for the answer, Slade." All were very good answers for I enjoyed the hunt of finding them out on my own rather then have someone else tell me them. This was just one of those situations when something can be brought up and then ended just as quickly as it was brought up so I can go back to it and find the answer for myself. Yes, these were all very good answers, but however none of which were used as an answer by my old trustworthy friend.

_"That perhaps it is not only the boy that is in need of you but is you that is in need the boy."_

The cup of tea in my hands dropped and found a place smashed on my carpet. My eye grew wide as a inscrutable pain punched through my lungs. I tried not to make a noise, but I did. Why was this pain so apparent for me? I wasn't suppose to feel it! I really am not suppose to!

"Sir?", asked Wintergreen concernedly.

"Why is it Wintergreen...", I wanted an answer, I wanted an exclamation, "Why do I feel this—pain? Why Wintergreen, do these—these—memories keep on coming back? All of them! Of the children, Addie and—and..."

Wintergreen bent down and began to pick up the remainders of the cup while I sat to think. I couldn't even bring myself to what I wanted to stay. Wintergreen must have seen the look on my face and it had to be of hopelessness.

"And the child", he implied while I looked up at him and stiffly nodded.

"Robin.", I sighed feeling my eye lids begin to start feeling heavy, but I needed to know something. I needed to know something that I have been searching for ages for. Answers to why I am the way I am, why I say and do the things I do. Why do I feel so much discomfort when I stare endlessly into my passions? Why pain?

"But this pain, it consumes me so. Why do I feel pain? I am immortal, my body isn't suppose to feel such things when I think about the unthinkable. And yet, I still feel pain. I feel something eating me alive when I look at that boy. I know what he wants, Wintergreen, that I know! I want to give it to him!"

"You already tried to by forcing it. Slade, the child doesn't need things to be forced on him, he is a child!", Wintergreen said becoming more stern, less butler like and more like the old friend proving me wrong. I liked that about Wintergreen, but I hated how he was always right.

Wintergreen flared up again, "Slade, Robin doesn't want a master, he wants a father! For heaven's sakes thats all he wants from you!!"

"I WANT TO BE HIS FATHER!" I was now standing up from the edge of my bed towering over Wintergreen like a crane. I held my fist over my head ready to strike the scrawnier man but I gained control over myself quickly. Wintergreen was just staring there partly in fear of me and partly in shock. I was breathing hard now, and I felt the blood pump through my veins as strong as a unstoppable waterfall. My nose was flaring through my unmasked face, and my eye was staring dangerously at my friend ready to kill on the spot. I lowered my arm and unclenched my fist.

" I know. I want to be his father, Wintergreen." I stopped and shook my head at the thought, "No, I _need_ to be his father. I need the second chance to be one."

Sensing that I was calmer, Wintergreen spoke to me in a bit more softer tone not wanting to trigger the ticking bomb that I was.

"You feel pain because he is not allowing you to be one. No, your not suppose to feel physical pain. Yes, your immortality is suppose to prevent that but it does not stop you from feeling emotions. It only just dulls them and all of those senses related to your memories. Physical discomfort is the only way for you to feel at all, that is of course...until you except what you feel."

There was a awkward silence between the two of us just then. It was as if the room we were sitting in was inhabited by ghost. A great coldness filled the stiff air. This was any mans game to play at and I wasn't about to lose it. However I had to lose because for the first time in my life, I didn't have anything to say. No comeback, no reasonable exclamation, no reasoning at all. My mind was beginning to cloud over and thankfully Wintergreen took the hint that my mind would be blank in few minutes to come. I got my answer though, I felt quit satisfied and yet I was completely unease because of it.

"Thank you, Wintergreen. That will be all", I said waving him away with my hand. He had no choice but to end it when I wanted it ended. The man was at my feet after all. He does what is told of him like every butler should.

"Glad to be in your service, Master Slade."

The room was empty again, and worse off—I was alone. You know, there is a funny thing about being alone. When your alone, everything seems still and the only moving things are the ones around you. A person wouldn't move but everything around them would seem to. Life will go on for them, it will stay still for you and in your accommodation. Thats precisely what was going on for me. I would just watch the world move around me but I will stay the same, unchanging person that I am. I would not grow or age I would stay the same, the same assassin I was, still is, and is to be. I am just—alone.

What I find quite humorous is how this—this _loneliness_ is beginning to affect me. I use to not care much about it. Actually, I preferred it. I worked alone, I killed alone, I stole alone, I created alone, and I destroyed alone. That was how I liked it and that was how It ought to be for the rest of eternity. I was going to rule the world alone; that was the original plan. I was quite pleased with it too.

Then my brilliant plan failed when that blasted, spiky haired, stubborn teenager came into my life. In ways, the boy reopened wounds that were healed and sharpened senses that were suppose to remain dull. The loneliness that I was so very much accustomed to was beginning to become a irritant. I couldn't put up with the things I was missing, I couldn't wait things out, and I couldn't fill the hallow space that I secretly wanted to be filled.

The room was already starting to fuzz. I let out a sigh of relief as the pills were taking toll on my mind and body. Finding myself calm and the pain from my chest subsiding, I then switched off the lamp on my night table and plopped my perspiring body down on top of my bed. I seemed to be losing all sense to reality because the bed soon vanished in thin air before my weight. I was floating and drifting into an alien abyss where it was almost impossible to get to back on my feet.

Flashback:::

_I plant my feet solidly on the ground to mark where I stood in the boy wonder's whole new way of living. I knew very well that the child wasn't adjusting to his new life style as well as I would have liked him too, but he was in fact adjusting. I smiled behind my mask quite cunningly as the detached teenager approached me with that angry scowl that he always wore as his expression. I wanted to chuckle at the sight of him, that unchanged shield he always wears; that mask of his seemed to knock me out of his thoughts as my own mask would do to him. _

_Perfect. I thought to myself, Robin is on his way to becoming something greater than what any assassin would ever hope to gain in an apprenticeship. _

" _Excellent, Robin. I'm pleased.", I praised seeing that mask rest it's gaze upon my own. "You're already proving to be the perfect apprentice." Those narrowing white mask slits didn't want to leave me. I smirked at this seeing how my praise taunted the boy and made him cringe. _

"_This deal can't last forever.", retorted the ex-boy wonder in that unchanged stubborn tone of voice._

_Yes, of course Robin would have something to say to that. The child kept resisting all of what I had to offer. I chuckled silently at this for it seemed that my stubborn little bird would never fail to entertain me with his ignorant remarks._

_My eye flickered dangerously at him as a warning. The boy immediately tensed in response to it._

"_It can. And it will."_

_I switched on the monitors as a good reminder to the boy about what could happen if he didn't follow orders and tried to escaped from my grip. It put me a bit in wonder for the past few weeks. The boy hasn't complained as much as I thought he was going to. Over the past weeks despite the random outburst towards myself, he's been rather—accepting. There it was though, that everlasting burning flame erupting inside his small frame. I have pondered many times about ways that I could put out such a flame. However, I was only able to come down to one conclusion for it—tame it._

" _The Titans still have no idea that my chronoton detonator was more than a decoy. Now that my probes are inside their bodies, they could remain undetected for years-decades."_

_It was interesting to see how tight my hold was on the teenager's life. He was beginning to accept his faith after all. Our deal was as good as sealed. _

"_Unless, of course, you disobey me-" I hiss to him as I step closer to his smaller image. The boy didn't move an inch from the spot he was in. I peered my single cold blue eye at him and saw his jaw quiver for a split second. None the less, Robin stood his ground peering into my mask with that everlasting flame. " -and I decide to destroy your former friends with a push of the button."_

_I hold up my hand to cut off his stare. His mask narrowed seeing how much of his life rested in my very palm. A little red button that determined the matter of life and death. I looked at the child in such a mockery as I saw the flame's light from within him begin to dwindle. All hope was lost and it was just the way I liked it._

_The fire was tame. _

"_Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down. I will get that controller, and the instant they're out of danger, you will pay."_

_The fire flared dangerously again._

_Stubborn child. I thought while I sighed silently to myself._

_That fire could never be put out. I felt a smile twitch the corners of my lips at that thought. The boy was so much like myself in so many ways. It was a pity though that he was so naive and single minded at such things. I stepped towards him in triumphed while I peered my eye at him curiously watching as he lowered his head submissively. _

_Although I must admit that the boy was learning quite quickly. He knew it just as well as I did...it seemed to trouble him._

"_That sounds like a threat, young man." , I chided him. Robin knew that something big would come to him if he didn't watch that smart mouth of his. "Quite a good threat, actually. Betrayal, destruction, revenge. We really do think alike."_

_With much interest, I watched my apprentice's mood turn very solemn suddenly. The sad look on his young face was more than enough to make me think over things a few times. Here, the boy was standing by my side by force. His friends lives were on the line and he had no other choice other than to join me. However Robin did always have another choice and it was quit simply a-matter-of-fact. You see... I could never force him to accept what he is and how he is now becoming the apprentice he truthfully was destined to be. Only Robin had this choice, this indeed was the only choice Robin didn't realize that he already made. The teenager was finally accepting his faith as it was and becoming into. Slowly and utterly silently, my little bird was getting use to his role as my heir. _

_It was an offer that Robin was never given the chance to take. _

_It didn't take me long to see how that youthful face turned flustered. Robin was losing a non winning battle. I didn't even need to be a mastermind to realize what this battle Robin was fighting was all about. No, it was not a battle against me. My apprentice was fighting a battle with hisself. I was intrigued within the split second as my thoughts turned to my own personality. We are so alike and after all—we are our own worst enemies. _

_Robin gritted his teeth and snarled as of that of a wild animal. He was losing control of his emotions; it was one of the few things that could serve as a weakness for him. He knew it was true, because he launched himself at me, he knew what a downfall he was taking because of his own actions. I grab the child's wrist with little effort and bend his thin arm back all the same till the bones were at their breaking points. To my pleasure it was quiet humorous to see the teenager force back a yelp of discomfort. This in fact is another admirable trait that Robin acquires that I myself also has—that is pure stubbornness. The boy is always fighting—he just refuses to break as well as I do. _

_All the joy in the challenge of breaking you, apprentice..._

_I say this silently to the boy seeing his face wired out in pain._

"_I monitored your vital signs during the mission. Elevated heart rate, adrenaline, endorphins." I say listening to the boy's gasping for relief in his arm that I refuse to give. He moaned and yelled out as the bones in his arms were close to snapping. I smile at this while chiding the boy all at the same time. _

"_You won't admit it, but at some level-" I brought my head next to his ear as I held his squirming body securely in my grip. I brought my voice down to a dangerous, haunting whisper so that even his subconscious mind will ponder every word I say. " -you enjoyed stealing for me. It was a thrill, wasn't it?_

_Robin's mask slits that served as his eyes then widen in surprise. I see this and let him go. He stumbles to maintain balance and instinctively cradles his newly injured arm. The boy tried to make his face remain emotionless but his scowl was saying more than what he wanted to let on. Robin was jostled with new thoughts and awakenings. They were all thoughts that even he couldn't help but think about._

_Robin was a thinker after all. _

" _You're going to keep stealing, Robin.", I state to him while removing the blaster muzzle that he handed to me before. "And you're going to keep getting that thrill."_

_Robin never looked so put at awe then he did now. His confusion almost made me feel a tang of sympathy for him. It was odd how I was straining to remember those hard times it was to be an adolescent much like himself. It was almost as if that part of my life never occurred to begin with. Never the less I tried to understand the stressed teenager and what he was going through. There were so many things overflowing that valuable mind of his then what anyone could dare to imagine. Robin looked overwhelmed; he was quite unsettled to simply put it. But I had everlasting confidence that the boy's life will take him down a whole knew path to discover. Much as like I did in my younger years, he too will realize how important he and how much pure talent he contains to do so many great things. Robin just is a that point in his life when only his point of view is what matters most. He will come to learn that it is the views of others that will shape him into the very individual he is to be. It will be my view of him that will transform him into greatness much like myself. It is my view that he will take up on oneday._

"_And sooner or later-"_

_And sooner or later is up and coming for my little bird. _

"_-you will see things my way."_

_I fiddled with the weapon at hand until it was completed and turned to face a frazzled Robin. The boy raises his right arm up sensing that I was bringing it up for his use. It was now becoming more and more of adaptation about how the stubborn teenager was beginning to read my body language. The never ending silence between us was containing more than just silence, for it was now the start of a whole knew type of understanding. Depending on if Robin knew it or not, I understood him more than what he wanted me to be able to. You see, the boy wonder is more than what would meet the eye. There is way more to his complicated interior than even what his pathetic, useless annoyances that he calls his "friends" would ever get close to picking apart at. The fact is pretty much known already; it is Robin's false face. The boy, of course is just a boy after all. Yes, Robin may be a "boy-wonder" but he is still a boy. His friends fail to realize these things about my apprentice. At a mere 16 years of age, Robin has to be a leader. He has to be the miracle, a savior, and a protector of the innocent. In the face of what the boy calls "evil" he must be the one to stand for what he calls "justice." In order to take on such a brutal role, the child as I know him to be has to be an adult._

_Yes. An adult._

_It is typical for one to think these things about him. Even I myself can admit that for his age he is very mature. He has a very mature way about going around situations and has an incredible ability to adapt to his surroundings and to new situations. No doubt that the boy's intelligence is so high that it is off the charts as my own is. These extraordinary qualities and his huge work ethic make him a suitable leader. Even I as his enemy can admit why he was chosen to be at such a high ranking in his league. In fact, Robin makes his petty teammates and all his other Titans followers look so incredibly inferior that it puts them all to shame. It really does... Robin is way out of their leagues, and there is no doubt in that matter._

_I have to say it takes very trained eyes to see what lays beneath the boy. It is because of Robin's astounding abilities that one can fail to see what Robin lacks and is in need for. People, his friends, and even that mentor of his Bruce Wayne fails to see that Robin is just that—not an adult. He may act accordingly to the job as an adult has to act but he-is-not-an-adult. Robin is a teenager—too young to be able to bare the world on his shoulders and yet too old to be considered to have pure innocence. This is how I know what is what. It is my ability to see that Robin lost that innocence before he was ready to lose it. That mask of his hides what tragic events happened. _

_His mother...his father...he lost them both during events that I knew very little about and events that I hope to discover in the future to come. However, if there is one thing so certain, is that when Robin lost his parents he lost himself along the way as well._

_Because of this, Robin never was never able to be given that chance to "mature" to his full ability. It is the fact that even if he acts mature, on the inside he is still that child that I got to know more and more of each day. He is still that child that is in need for his parents...a mentor...a father. _

_He had a mentor. It was that blasted, scrutinizing overgrown Bat. He was Robin's mentor at the time the boy was in need of a real one. Batman—Bruce Wayne was obviously too busy with his morally unstable life to realize what a child needed. He turned Robin into something he was not ready to become. Robin lost his childhood faster then how it should have been. This is why now my little bird does the things he does. Yes, like all teenagers are, he is an emotional bubble waiting to burst. No, it is not like all teenagers for Robin to still display that need. Its a need for something that was taken away from him at such a young age. Robin needed something...he needed more then what most teenagers needed._

_**"Who knows? I might even become like a father to you."**_

_I say this as I clamp the weapon onto his small wrist. My hand rest on his arm for a second until I let go and see how Robin's utilized arm stays there where I have clamped the weapon on. He then seems to realize that my hand was no longer touching his arm and he withdraws it slowly and looks at the device as if it was a gift. In my point of view it was more then a gift—I offered him something more then he would ever know._

_Then I saw it. There was an unsettled thought lurking in the back skirts of Robins mind. I saw it. I saw the look he had in his face. The once tough, strong minded leader of the Teen Titans somehow and in some undetermined way transformed beneath my gaze. No. This was not the stubborn teenager I know much of, he was now the lost child that only I can see. It is this Robin that everyone else fails to see, he is the boy behind the mask. _

_Oh child. I am able to see that lost look you have across your face. The need you have for what I have to offer but you are at doubt about taking up on it._

_It is then that Robin looks at me in a way that he wants to escape from something. Maybe it was the life that he once had and wished that it was that easy to give up being a superhero. Maybe it was to get out of the barriers that were set up around him. He wanted to step over the line that was drawn for him and the rest of the heroes. Oh, he has such a crossed expression drawn on every feature that he contains. Those eyes that lurk behind those white lights say more than they wanted to. He was almost pleading for me to help him._

_My young apprentice lowers the weapon and reluctantly mumbles something softly to me but no matter how soft and reluctant it was said it still left me hallow._

_**" I already have a father."**_

_It is then that I was able to see the look of need spring across his young face. Robin was struggling with something for such a long time and he looked so defeated by it all the it almost—depressed me. Behind that mask I was able to see that he wanted something from me. He couldn't though--something was forcing him to say no. Yes, the boy was once again forced. He was—sorry. I was sorry I even offered..._

_:::End Of Flashback:::_

The darkness around my room was suffocating me. I never have a problem with a still room but tonight was not an ordinary night for me. Tonight was the night that I've became human once more. Tonight was the night when pain was apparent and yet I couldn't understand why it was so. I've realized many things tonight, things in which would be nothing more than a faded memory tomorrow, but a memory none the less. You see, no matter how much I may want to deny a certain fact I can not. The truth is too accurate for even I myself to get around it. We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death. Tonight I wanted to die, and it would have probably suited me well if I had. I can not die though, I am immortal and shall remain that way until hell overcame the planet. However it is this need that drives me as what I've learned tonight. It is what _thrives beneath _that has this effect on me.

In the blackness of this empty room there is only one thing that I am able to see tonight. That is that child, that sad little boy who wants something as badly as I do. Something that only the heart can fool the mind is what I need. I see his face. I see tears roll down soft pale cheeks.

Robin.

I feel something trickle it's way from my eye and down the tip of my nose. I bring a sweaty palm and quickly find my face soaked in—tears?

_Oh dear child, why do you do this to me? Why is it you that has this effect on me, my little bird. Your ignorance is my ignorance. You are the one that thrives beneath whatever a soul I have left, dear child. _

It is then and only then that a voice that I've became to know so well filled my ears. His voice mimicking my own tone and in such a mockery. It taunted me in all it's aspects like a haunting ghost. It was almost as if it came out of my own mouth.

" **It must **_**kill**_** you to know that what you want you can **_**never **_**have, doesn't it **_**Slade**_**"**

My eye closed painfully as another single teardrop hit my pillow with a light patter.

It killed me...But I can't die and yet I felt like I was dead. Somehow and in some aspect I died within the memory. My mind felt fuzzy I couldn't see. I didn't need to see in that matter because my vision to what I seen today was perfectly clear.

Then there was darkness and all the light that I have seen today was fading right before me. All that I learned and came to realize was nothing more than just a faded memory.

_Yes. Just a memory..._

But that memory would always be there—just like all the others. Addie, Joey, Grant...

_Robin.  
_

_Yes, my little bird. You will always be..._

* * *

_What Thrives Beneath._

* * *

_Fin Slade's Point Of View_

**Authors Note: **peeks head around the corner :D

So0o0o0o0o...what did everyone think? Good? Bad? So So? Please feel free to drop a review by and tell me the honest truth for this one. I really love reviews too and they will motivate me for the next one in the nest.

Yeah there were a lot of points made here and wow Slade has quite a different side when he is alone and no one is around(except Wintergreen of course) And Yes! Props to Wintergreen! I can never get enough of that guy I just wished that he would pop up more in the Teen Titans tv series. And YES! I had some dialog going on in there with the two as well.

Poor Slade :(

All he wants is a family!


	6. Chapter 6

_I Just didn't understand it._

I just couldn't understand why these tears were playing all over my masked face. I've tried to fight it. I really did try to fight all the heat that was rushing up to my head as I looked at that mask as if I've never seen the damn thing before. To be distraught, is a really different type of feeling. Your mind suddenly pops as if it was a balloon and the heart would pound more wildly than beyond the imaginable. My eyes clouded up in the rivers that poured from them, while the half black -half orange image twisted into the background of newspaper clippings that were accumulating my wall. I just couldn't control myself anymore. The pain was insufferable.

_Come on now, Robin, pull your self together._

Great. Now I was talking to myself and worse of all, it didn't help too much. I tried so desperately to collect my thoughts. Nothing else seemed to work for me and even though I was alone, it just didn't feel like it. My senses kept on telling me that I was being watched for some reason. My face was distorted in agony as I looked at the mask that ruined my life and still was. I just had to try to convince myself—that what if Slade was here? What if he was watching me? Hell, I could even picture him standing above me in such a mockery as he saw my pitiful sight. This wasn't the boy wonder he always knew, no I was someone what Slade would call as being weak and pathetic.

_Yes, Robin. You really don't want Slade to think that about you do you? _

_Why would I? I don't care what he thinks! _

_Nonsense. I thought we just went over this. You do care. A-matter-of-fact, you care so much that it's eating you from the inside out. You know it's the truth. Don't lie and don't cry about it. Don't—_

_Shut up. SHUT UP! _

_And that was very mature of you. Imagine he was able to see how much of a disappointment you are being right now_

That alone angered me just then. The thought of Slade watching me break down into the pieces that he only dreamed of breaking me into was stirring something crooked inside of me. I had a burning passion full of pure hate for that man and most importantly—myself. Why did he make me this way? How could I even think of wanting to be his blasted son! Why did I let him get to me in that way. Why did he always speak the truth? Why does he have that ability to plant such dangerous things into my head? How can I let him take advantage of me and be such a influence in my life? Is this why I am so obsessed with him? Is it because I want these things from him I can never have? Is it because he is always right? Why on earth did it have to happen to me? Why couldn't he pick someone else to be his stupid apprentice? No, he just had to choose the boy wonder, leader of one of the greatest teams of superpower teenagers and not only that, the former partner and son of the all time infamous Batman. My anger didn't seem to last that long at that last thought. I stiffed another sob at the memory of the man I always wished to become. This was the man who worked so hard for his title and was probably one of the greatest heroes in history. He was a great detective, probably the world's greatest and he was also a member of the Justice League. Just then, at that moment I felt shame wash over me from head to toe. Batman.

"I let him down didn't I?" I questioned while I buried my wet face into my arm. I failed him, I broken the code, and I've became something that I promised Bruce I would never be. At first I thought I was doing justice. I thought that the reason I was staying with Slade was because I was protecting the Titans—my friends. I thought that maybe—just maybe—I was still considered one of the "good guys" because I held onto that purpose . However, after some time in his custody, that purpose that I held so dear; to protect them and to keep them out of harms way, was then pushed farther back into my mind. I tended to forget about the Titans and began to become accustomed to a life that I never desired to serve. I love my friends, and I let them down. As their leader, I should have found some way out of the damned place as soon as I got there. I admitted to myself and even confronted Slade about the fact that the "deal" couldn't last forever. Slade however wasn't convinced. He told me so, he was so sure that it would. Slade being sure about the fact dimmed whatever hope I had left. I didn't take note of it much then, but Slade was in the process of breaking me into an unwanted apprenticeship by just sounding so sure of himself. I hated that— I hated when he knew things. I was the disappointment. I disappointed myself and Batman because I allowed myself to become so weak.

_But you aren't weak. You've proved Slade wrong after all. That deal didn't last forever and you know it!_

_How can you be so sure?_

_Well considering the fact that I am you, you see._

_Ugh! Just Stop being like that and answer my question already!!_

_How ironic..._

_Whatever. Just how do you know that I've ended it for good? Slade's still out there!_

_And when he comes back you'll be ready. You still have your friends..._

_And I'll put them in danger again! I can't afford to make the same mistakes. I can't lose them! They are in danger every single second they remain on this team. Slade is still out there! He wants something—me._

_He wants me._

Then it hit me. Everything hit me at once and even my own conscious mind was able to agree with one thing and one thing only. Slade wants me and not only that—he isn't going to stop. Not ever. Slade was never going to stop, ever. I knew it, and so did everyone else. The Titans knew it too, I was even able to see the worried looks on their faces the night I've finally returned home. They knew they still weren't safe, that I wasn't safe, nor anything we stood for was safe anymore. With Slade on the loose, we were threatened. If it was one thing or another that boiled my blood it was just that.

I lifted my head up from my arm feeling that the once hot tears that spilled from my hidden eyes were now drying up and tightening on my rather pale cheeks. My eyes never felt so narrow just as much as my face felt so reddened and heated. My knuckles turned chalk white as I clenched the demented mask in my fist hoping that it would shatter in the process. Why did this man have to invade my life? Why did he have to threaten my friends? Why did he have the need to control me? Looking at the mask with such loathing I silently cursed the thing for not breaking. With my other hand I grabbed the chair that I was sitting on and flung it with all my might at the wall. I however was not pleased that the loud bang and the snapping of the wood didn't fill the void of such violence that was reserved for Slade.

The outrage that came out of my mouth didn't even substitute it one least bit.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

I lost it. I was spinning out of control now as I trashed Slade's useless files that provided nothing more than his unknown identity onto the floor—where it belonged. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted out! I didn't want to be Robin the damn boy wonder, I didn't want to be leader of a team of teenagers that could possible be killed any day now—anymore! I didn't even want to ask that stupid question to Slade. I knew what Slade wants—he wants Robin.

"_**That was vicious, dishonorable, and ruthless. Excellent work. You're becoming more like me every second."**_

That voice...

No.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

I didn't want to hear him anymore. I was breaking down, I couldn't handle it. With as much angst as I could pull out of my chest, I tore off the lamp on my desk and sent it hurtling to the ground. The light bulb exploded as a result. For a brief moment I mentally thanked Cyborg for installing sound proof walls into my room. He never asked nor did he tell the other Titans that he done them, in the back of my mind I believe he understood why. The first few nights after I returned home from Slade's imprisonment, I would wake up in a sweaty, screaming mess staring into four pairs of worried, concerned eyes. That is when I asked Cyborg to do me the favor; there was no need to give my friends the impression I wasn't well.

_** "We are so much alike."**_

My heart has left me now, for the feeling of numbness takes over. There was no sense to denying anything anymore. There was no point in looking for an excuse since they dwindle in abyss within the first few seconds they are created. In shame I close my eyes tightly, silently begging for "his" voice to depart from my head. I turn to the wall and place both palms on my prized wall; "his" wall. As soon as my fingers close around the frail newspaper clippings they are removed. I clawed at the wall pathetically, and with just as much of the ruthlessness that Slade claims us for having in "common" , I scream at the voice that lingers around me with as much venom as I could hold on my tongue.

"I HATE YOU!!!"

I did. It was the truth, but there was something in the truth that sounded false. I mean sure, Slade was a monster. Slade was a ruthless being who destroyed whatever he touched. He blackmailed me for one thing by threatening to kill my friends if I didn't submit to him. I did though, I did give into him in some small way none the less. Then I escaped and from that moment on, I knew he was never going to let me rest. I've been driven to madness after his "death" during Terra's era. I just couldn't understand that he was gone for good. I always had the hunch that somehow he was still alive. I wasn't the one who killed Slade after all, Terra was—it was Terra, it wasn't me.

Its not that I had something against Terra for killing him. It just when she did, I just couldn't believe he was gone for good and I really wanted to be the one to make sure of that. Terra had just as good reason to bring him down as much as I did, but that was another thing that bothered me when Slade had "died" because I wasn't the one to do him in. It wasn't that I was jealous of Terra for having the power to do it but I always felt that it was I who was the only one that could bring him down. I was the one who was suppose to do it—I was the only one who thought I could. Then I obsessed, became unhealthy, sick, but I couldn't admit to that either. I began to hallucinate even though it was caused by chemically charged dust particles, I still went crazy from it. I almost died too. Not only that but Slade came back. He didn't die, and I didn't know why. Was it Trigon's doing or was there something that I overlooked about Slade? It didn't even improve my intake on him when I saw that behind his mask was nothing but a skull. I knew that was indeed Trigon's doing, now his body is restored once more. I am sure there is flesh behind that mask now.

It was his flesh that made me think twice about Slade; he was human after all. Thats what confused me the most about Slade, he is a person who had motives and plans. Slade is sane... or at least half of him is. This makes me think, his motives are for my well being, or at least what he thinks is good for it. There is so much about Slade that I have to say I don't know about. Its just that, in the way he looks at me, that cold penetrating eye just _looks _at me. He_looks_ at me like he _wants_ me to _want_ something. A partner, an Apprenticeship, and a chance to show me off for my talent in ways that Batman never could...or never wanted to.

I hate it when he looks at me, it makes me feel vulnerable and I hate feeling like that. Then there are times when he will just look at me and that cold, solid, menacing glare turns soft and understanding. Its the times that when that happens, I become rather noncommittal. Is Slade as evil as he seems? Or is there something that I keep over looking about what makes Slade, Slade.

The burning intensity that was brooding inside of me began to settle into a prickly uneasy feeling. I lean my forehead against my disheveled wall as my panting began to subside. My body was jaded from the late night, my mind seemed to be inflamed. Finally feeling a bit cooler I glanced down to see that Slade's mask remained perfectly in tack and whole in my hand. Why I didn't throw it against the wall or smash it within the mist of this was beyond me. On the inside I knew perfectly well why that was so. The man was killing me at every chance he could get at me—but he didn't _want _to kill me.

_No. I was the one who was killing myself over him. Not Slade..._

Slade offered so much more than I would have liked him to. I frown down at the mask. Was I actually feeling sorry for him?

"Why are you_really _doing this?"

I never really thought much about why Slade did what he did. Did he really just want just an apprentice?

"Is it because you want someone more than just an apprentice, Slade?"

Or was there something more? It did happen to hit me at certain times before, you know...these random thoughts about him. It happened to me various times when I was trying to figure out Slade's true identity. I would just sit in my room and ponder this over and over again. Where could I look first? Each time I would come to the same conclusion; Family of course, thats where any detective would look. Then I would frown at the thought.

_Family._

Slade didn't have that...or at least he did and now he doesn't for some reason.

Does Slade have one of those? What about a wife, a spouse? Parents maybe? I shook my head trying to refuse the next thought. I remained silence for a minute but my heart yearned to ask another question. _What about a son?_

"You want a son."

He did. He wanted a son, he wanted someone he could care for, to guide, to help along. He wanted to raise someone to become just like himself but better, a better man, a stronger man or an evil villain in his case. Slade wanted more than just an apprentice, he wanted a child of his own. He wanted _me_. He wanted me to be his boy.

"You want me.."

I said this with a scowl. My mind was suddenly drawn to the Bat, the man who didn't want a son at all. He just wanted a pathetic little sidekick he could call Robin. I couldn't be Slade's, I was the son of the blasted Bat.

" But you can't have me..."

It was reality, the cold hard truth in the matter. I couldn't be Slade's child even if I wanted to be. My mind was put back on Bruce, the father who never wanted a son. Then it shifted back to Slade, the father who wanted to be; and for some odd reason, for that moment I wanted to be the son of the enemy. My emotions went a muck as I put on a scowl. I wanted to be—but I couldn't. It pained me in the most unusual way that I could never be.

"I will never be your son."

I sighed and brought my hand to the back of my head in a failed attempt to remove the sweat on the back of neck. I looked down at the mask that I previously hated with a deep passion. That passion of hate was replaced with something out. I frowned again but not out of spite. This new knowledge played around in my head until I felt dizzy. I wanted to say something more. I placed his mask back up on the wall. Turned my back on it for the hundredth time this month and crawled over to my bed. I wanted to say something more. I turned around again.

"Now at least I understand you. Your human. A murderer perhaps, but human none the less. Seems logical now why you are the way you are. "

Logical? yes. Fair? I don't think I would call it that. For a moment there I wondered what Slade was actually doing right now. It was an odd thought but it brought a chill down my spin the more I thought about it. Slade was always planning, always thinking up some clever plan to get to me. Its a shame that he could never, I can't let it happen. I'm the hero he's the villain and thats that. Why would I ever give up what I have just so I could replace that feeling I had before my own parents deaths? I could never steep so low, I will never. I would be giving up to easily. After all, Slade done so much to destroy me, to make me feel as much pain possible and he had a knack for doing it. He almost killed me damn it! He almost killed my friends! Then I start to think again. After all he's done to me, he's finally going to get his share of the pain. I'm killing him more than I thought possible.

" It must _kill_ you to know that what you want you can never have, doesn't it Slade"

That It did. Maybe this is the only way to actually defeat Slade. All I have to do is resist and it'll kill him soon enough. I would be rid of that monster once and for all. I crawled in bed just then, giving that mask the same taunting expression it has always given me. I was simply returning the favor. I switch off my light and rested my head on the pillow while another unusual feeling raises up in my stomach again. I wanted to say something more. In the mist between dreams and reality, that voice returned to me once more. The memory still fresh in my head. I groaned in agony as the scene was replayed over and over again in my head.

_Slade...please don't_

" **Who knows? I might even become like a _father_ to you."**

I tossed and turned in my bed. Sweat consuming me and drowning me. I was drowning. I could feel his hand resting on my shoulder as a what a father might do to comfort his son.

I wanted to tell him something more. Tears were swelling up in my eyes again.

** " I already have a father."**

It killed him. It really did, but why didn't I feel happy. I won didn't I? I won! But still I wanted to say something, I wanted to say something else. The mist was consuming me again. I looked around and watched in awe as the man's shadow disappeared. I should have been happy.

"WAIT! SLADE! DONT LEAVE! PLEASE!!"

And then I felt something else die as I sank down into the mist and buried my face into my hands. Dead Parents, an unwilling Batman and now Slade is gone too. I felt like I was 9 years old again and vulnerable from their demise. I felt like I lost them all over again, abandoned and lost.

"I'M SORRY!"

Finally. I've said what I wanted to say. I was sorry, I was sorry that the world wasn't as perfect as it seemed. In a perfect world with no two sides of war, no good and no evil, things would heal nicely. This was no perfect world, and I was sorry. The mist consumed me and it drifted into the black abysee of nothingness that was taking up my mind. Slade wasn't the only one who was dieing from this. I wasn't just killing him, I was killing myself as well.

" **It must _kill_ you to know that what you want you can never have, doesn't it _Robin_"**

His voice rang into my eardrums once more. It was mocking me, it was taking my words and shoving them back down my throat. Yes, It was killing me too.

_ I 'm sorry... Slade_

But right at this moment as I was drifting into sleep, I wanted so bad for one thing. I was in shame as more tears rolled down my cheeks.

_ But I can't just be...your son... but you will always be..._

_ What Thrives Beneath_

**Fin Robin's pov**

**Authors Note:**

**This is the END of this fanfic! I'm so sorry if I bored anybody or kept anyone waiting if this was even worth the wait. (i'm sure its wasn't cause I didn't get any comments asking when my next update is.) I wanted to finish this fic so i could start my Harry Potter fan fic for all you crazy Snape- mentors/guardian- for- Harry fans. The Harry Potter universe is my next call. This is just a prequel for a storyline i'm trying to form for this( with an actual storyline!!! YES!!!) so R and R please. Tell me what you do and feel free to pick on me, it will only make me better!**


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